He was a great man and not because he did great things but possibly because he didn’t.

My late father was the embodiment of honesty and respect, the archetype of exemplary behaviour and the epitome of stability, humility and kindness. He had no wild ambitions, no crazy dreams, no vices and absolutely no arrogance whatsoever. His only goal in life was to raise a decent family in the most just and flawless way and this is what caught his entire attention throughout his happy life. He was the ultimate teacher, both at work and in life.

He was always secretly my hero, my mentor, the person I always wanted to impress. And in his final years I did my best to give him back what very little I could, compared to everything he gave me.

But alas he too finally succumbed to his disease as we all shall do.

I was utterly heartbroken, devastated, as may be expected, seeking solace in anything I could. He had lived a long and happy life and passed away surrounded by his most loved ones. And his final suffering was very painful to watch, making that final moment a slightly less bitter pill to swallow. So in typical fashion, being the gentleman that he was until his final moment, he waited until we had all left his side that evening and once we were all gone he quietly slipped away.

He was 87 years of age when this happened and my mother, ten years younger, was totally shellshocked and ridden with grief. We all tried desperately to contain our tears and to somehow console her. But she was lost without him. She had spent her entire life with him and knew no other man. For 60 years they we together and he was her first and only love.

Throughout their marriage they were always together, totally inseparable. I am not quite sure whether in all those years they ever slept once apart. They simply adored each other and devoted their entirely lives to themselves and to us.

My mother was everything a child could ever wish for. She never had a professional occupation but simply excelled at being a mother in a caring and nurturing way. Not once could I remember that she was too sick or too tired to care for us all in every single way. She looked after the household and her family 24 hours a day. Always sheltered, protected and provided for by my father, she focused entirely on what she knew best, and proved to be an outstanding mother, whose only concern was us.

She was soft and gentle and kindhearted and far too good, innocent and even naive to ever contemplate any wrongdoing, even in the remotest of ways.

But she tried for a very short period of time, in her own way to cope, and to find a small place for herself on this earth without him. But alas she decided after only nine months that she’d much rather be with him. So very early one morning without much warning she too left us having lost the will the live.

It is an extraordinarily bewildering feeling when from calling them up for every nothing, and automatic detours to their house when in the vicinity, and helping them around the house, and running errands for them all the time, and lunches together at home in the garden, and happy family occasions from time to time, there simply comes nothing!

An enormous void. The two most important people in your life, who created you, who made you what you are, who were always there. Yes they were always simply there. There. Whenever you needed them they were there. And in their later years when they needed you you were there, but above all they too were still always there.

Then all of a sudden both of them were no longer there.

Is it worth mentioning what is so obvious? The paramount importance of loving your parents dearly and cherishing them while they are still here. And above all of telling them “I love you”, the three most important words in life. Tell them. And then tell them again, even if in certain cases you might feel awkward, then all the more you must tell them before it is too late. And for the unfortunate ones who may have had problems with either or both of their parents, then tell them even more! It could be that by uttering these simple words that you lay down the road to reconciliation, for no matter what happened between you they are your parents and they won’t be around for ever. If you don’t work out your differences now you definitely won’t after they are no longer here.

We all somehow try to find comfort and consolation in times of great distress. We look for reasons, for purpose for justification. We try to find ways of making sense of it all and to clutch at any positive we might ourselves create in our minds to overcome our desperation.

Well I must say that in my case in spite of these terrific incidents life did give me back a lot. Call it luck or destiny or karma. But I must admit that there was a huge silver lining to this otherwise devastating tale.

On the exact day my father passed away a baby was conceived. And as my mother in turn decided to leave us nine months later, this baby was born when she passed away, on the day of her funeral to be exact.

And this baby is our first grandson.

A gorgeous healthy happy baby with stunning looks and an enchanting smile who stole my heart from the day he was born. He has special significance for me in so many ways and we are both happiest when together. I want to love him and look after him and guide him and amuse him for as long as I can.

Luckily in life there it always another, more positive side to every story. In our case it was obvious and staring us right in the face. Let us always focus on the positive and let dark thoughts blow by.

For life takes but life also gives back.