I must start off by making it crystal clear that if I sound in any way complimentary about Tarragon Restaurant it is only because the ownerMarvin Gauci is probably going to read this and I heard that he has some very vindictive lawyers…

So on Sunday morning my wife Maria was sitting around the kitchen table with the most horrific mud mask smeared across her face. And I had the wise idea of using this lunch at Tarragon as leverage, convincing her to allow me to post a pic of her on my timeline. Admittedly I have never been a very clear thinker first thing in the morning and this will be remembered as yet another indication of my poor judgement at this time of day.

Many of our FB friends, unaware that Maria had very astutely and successfully bargained her way to my posting of her picture, predicted that I would lose an arm and a leg to her rage once she found out. Little did they know that these limbs would in fact be lost when paying the bill at Tarragon Restaurant, that afternoon.

But to be totally honest, I cannot think of any better way of spending my money than a lovely meal at Tarragon. So it was money very well spent and naturally, as anywhere else, the bill simply reflected the extravagance of the diner and I must admit that this place somehow pushes my self-indulgence buttons more than anywhere else.

It might have become somewhat of a cliché, but I fully concur to the dining experience ideal and to its three main components – ambiance, food, service. I do not particularly enjoy having good food in what might look like a former garage painted in fancy colours, and certainly I do not enjoy good food served badly. So in my book a restaurant that ticks all three boxes definitely has a lot going for it.

Tarragon is without a doubt one of these. It is obvious that a lot of thought and probably even more money has been put into the place, its furnishings and décor. And perhaps more importantly, the establishment is suitably housed within a seafront building, overlooking the sea, the coast and St. Paul’s Islands across the bay, offering its patrons beautiful views while dining. I firmly feel that every grand restaurant should have a grand location, or at least a grand building, or some other redeeming feature to match its patrons’ overall expectations. Is seems logical to me that fine dining should be served in fine surroundings.

After the obligatory welcome greetings and hellos, we were whisked to our window table and immediately asked whether we desired an aperitif, even before we were seated. I hate sitting awkwardly at table upon arrival, twiddling my thumbs waiting to be served. Based on this and admittedly on my alcoholic tendencies, I find it so practical to be asked and served an aperitif immediately upon arrival. More so as you can enjoy your drink while you are looking at menus and wine lists, before you order. Once this is done, I find that the welcome drink slot is truly over, especially once you have ordered wine and water.

So while we were sipping our prosecco, we were handed over the ample literature by the now rather heavily bearded manager, Joshua. As he very aptly pointed out, Tarragon is now presenting a brand new menu – and what a truly exciting menu it is. They have retained the same concept of offering a main and a daily specials menu and I must say that the choice of sumptuous sounding and intriguing dishes is just spectacular.

I always prefer the matter of ordering to be a bilateral affair, between me and the maitre d’, whose job it is to advise, describe and recommend. So we had a good discussion with Joshua, who as always did a splendid job of directing us to our very difficult final choice. No mean task with so many delicious sounding items on their new menu .

For starters we went for a medley of different items comprising of oysters, scallops, smoked moulard duck breast carpaccio and several gin and tonic molecular spherifications. No I am not just making words up, this is Tarragon we are talking about remember! So if you would bear with me for a few moments, descriptions will follow soon…

I would strongly recommend diners here to follow suit, by selecting a bit of this and a bit of that for starters, This is a brilliant idea as it obviously allows you to sample so many different delicacies. And Tarragon makes this an even easier task as several starter items are very cleverly priced and served by the piece, as are oysters and scallops. A far cry from the rigidity of many restaurants which often refuse to modify the size of their dishes and servings, even when so requested. Moreover it is customary at this establishment to provide a useful and elegant table stand, where your various starters are conveniently placed.

The scallops were perfectly cooked and succulent. The oysters, which in typical Tarragon style were chilled at our table by the pouring of liquid nitrogen into the dish – were lovely and fresh. The duck carpaccio was very slightly chewy, but presented beautiful smokey and gamey flavours and was accompanied by a lovely contrasting sweet red currant and apple chutney with walnuts.

Now to the gin and tonic spherifications. Just in case there is anyone out there who is still unaware of molecular gastronomy, this is the culinary discipline dealing with the chemical transformation and reconstruction of food items, which was largely pioneered by a French gentleman (surprise!) named Hervé This. Tarragon has been mastering this art for some time now, especially with its distinctive reconstructed olive amuse bouche. Incidentally this has now been replaced by a tasty soup shooter and a luscious salmon paste on toast.

Not being able to resist an item with the words gin and tonic in it, we ordered four of these magnificently refreshing balls served on half a lemon. What a delight gently sliding them into your mouth while biting into the lemon and being treated to a burst of very subtle but distinctive gin and tonic flavours. As Joshua initially suggested, this makes the ultimate entremet and offers a great alternative to the long established and slightly monotonous sorbet. Incidentally the oysters too are each served with a lovely lemon spherification.

For mains we shared a john dory which was steamed in foil for perhaps just a few seconds too many. However Michael, who is Tarragon’s illustrious head chef, still did an excellent job to produce a delicate, tender fish which was expertly filleted at our table in grand gueridon pomp and ceremony. This was accompanied by roast potatoes and a lovely macedoine of very tasty steamed vegetables.

This grandiose meal was equally opulently matched by two bottles of the sensational Cloudy Bay sauvignon blanc. For the very unfortunately uninitiated, Cloudy Bay may be considered as the quintessential sauvignon blanc (a lot of) money can buy. This highly acclaimed wine from New Zealand offers a truly dazzling array of aromas and flavours to produce a uniquely textured, refreshing, intense yet elegant wine. In others words if you haven’t yet tried it then you really should. At € 49.90 a bottle it doesn’t come cheap. But then again nor do most of the magnificent things in life. It is not something many can afford to drink on a regular basis, but when you start your day by challenging your wife’s vanity, you can be sure that this will somehow end in your virtual ruination.

Upon being served our first bottle, I passed a small comment that it was not perfectly chilled. This prompted Joshua to fetch a large pitcher of liquid nitrogen which he aptly poured into our ice bucket. No only did this instantly do the trick, but it also resulted in our table being partially engulfed in swirling vapour, making us look like a couple of mad scientists.

I think that by now it has become pretty obvious that the service throughout the meal was simply second to none. This was mainly orchestrated by Joshua and Donald – the head waiter. Donald is another suave, skilled and seasoned pillar of Tarragon fame, whose charm and helpfulness never goes amiss.

Yet another sublime touch at Tarragon, as if they needed any more – is that they also provide diabetic desserts upon demand. By now my blood sugar levels were soaring at a rate only second to our wildly increasing bill. So some respite was much needed and this came in the form of an absolutely exquisite muffin which included fine strips of courgette, to make an exceedingly light and delicate dessert, accompanied by a sugar free vanilla ice cream. Maria had a crème brulée which according to her was equally exciting.

I must point out that our meal lasted several hours, hence the two bottles of wine. However we always like to finish off with something stronger, so Maria went for the good old calvados, while I fancied an armagnac. So Joshua pulled out an outstanding Montesquieu X.O. which was very hard to resist, in spite of the additional severe damage it inflicted both to my inflaming liver and to my shrinking pocket. Even I don’t have the audacity of stating here how many armagnacs I ended up having. Suffice to say that I made a very serious dent in the bottle by the time I staggered out of there.

But this was mainly the fault of my dear childhood friend Tonio Fenech and his stunning wife-cum-photographer Anna Fenech, who were sitting at the table right beside us throughout the lunch. Initially I understandably thought that Anna was Tonio’s daughter, based on looks, charm and vigour… So at the end of our meals we laughed and chatted on together for ages, every so often making a small gesture towards the bar for a refill. When we finally realised the time and our vastly deteriorated state, it was time to purchase a handsome stock of shares in this restaurant. I should probably own about half this establishment by now, but as I clearly mentioned in the beginning, this is not based on the restaurant’s pricing, but purely based on our wild excesses.

So that is how posting a picture on FB can lead to so much adventure, pleasure and expense. A quick word of advice to all the husbands out there – never, just never, try to get the upper hand on your wife. This invariable ends in you spending a little fortune one way or another. And a small tip for the ladies – if you want to be spoilt rotten, then get your husbands to take you to Tarragon. I’m sure you’ll easily find a way.