AN IDIOT’S GUIDE TO SERVING WINE

(mainly aimed at restaurant serving staff)

Many are still very sadly under the impression that serving wine the right way and according to required custom, is unnecessary and bombastic. Many others don’t even know that all this exists. And the worst part of it all is that many who are totally in the dark, actually work in the catering industry!

So here goes. These are the most basic steps of serving wine in a restaurant environment. If you work in one, then take head and learn. If you are a customer, then don’t settle for anything less.

• When handing the wine list, first ask clearly who would like to order the wine and pass it on personally to that one person. With a large table which might easily order more than one type, don’t be afraid to hand out two lists to different people if so requested, they won’t eat them don’t worry

• If any wines are out of stock, then best to point it out immediately before anyone actually selects them

• If you are taking wine orders without having any idea on wines, then complain bitterly to management. You simply should not be doing this. It is inconceivable to imagine that customers will not ask you questions which they expect you to be able to answer. If however you are totally stuck and have no one to ask, then never ever lie or invent, just admit that you don’t know. The very worst thing of all is giving false information. It is always better to be unknowing than to be wrong

• If anyone orders a wine of which you only have few bottles left and less than that table might consume, then best to point it out before you open and serve the first bottle. They might wish to change their decision to remain on the same wine, rather than running out and having to change during the meal

• If ever recommending to change a wine for whatever reason, then always without fail suggest something very similar in every respect. This most definitely includes price. In this case always inform the customer of the exact price without them asking. They looked at prices for wines on your wine list, so why should they now agree to a new wine blindly?

• Always ensure that bottles are served at the right temperature. If you require some time to chill a bottle before serving, then you must inform the customer. Do not keep them waiting without letting them know

• With white wine always provide an ice bucket or a cooler, depending on what is available at your establishment. If the red wine is too warm, or is served slightly chilled in Summer, but risks warming up, then you may also ask whether a cooling device is also required for it

• When you serve the wine you start off by showing it only to the person who ordered it. This is not just show, it is done so as to ensure that nobody has misunderstood each other and that you are about to open the correct bottle. Many a time was I served the wrong wine just because the name was similar or the server was inattentive

• It is normal for the customer either to take the bottle in hand for closer examination, or to touch it to feel the temperature. If you are showing it to them it is for them to see it and if they want to see it better and read the labels, then it is a very normal thing and is simply confirming that your original gesture made sense!

• Once the customer approves of the wine, then you can proceed to open it. You should always be capable of opening a bottle totally unsupported – in the air, so to speak. Do not place it on a table or anywhere else, you should be perfectly capable of opening it without placing it anywhere, even when using a corkscrew. If you put it between your legs to open it, then you should very simply be castrated or oophorectomised on the spot. I don’t fancy anything which has been tucked away between anyone’s legs and touching their genitals, unless I really fancy them

• If you are dealing with a cork top, then never make it pop on the way out. As this is totally unnecessary, it is also considered superfluous, hence unprofessional, hence rude

• You then proceed to have the wine tasted. This is essential for a number of reasons, but certainly not to see whether it is to the person’s personal taste and liking. When you order a bottle of wine you are supposed to know what you are ordering, and if you don’t, then you should consult the serving staff, which is why you are meant to know what you are selling. So unless you misinformed the customer, they have no right to send the wine back because it is not to their own liking. You taste the wine to check if it is corked, but also to see if it is off, if there is a production problem, if it is oxidized, if it is well past its best and losing flavour, if it is musty, and finally if it is at the right temperature. So even if it is a screw-top bottle you still have to taste it, as although it cannot be corked, all the other possible defects may still be present

• So tasting the wine should always occur, no matter the case. Don’t ask who would like to taste it, it should be the person who ordered it that does. Pour a small amount in their glass for this purpose. You really needn’t pour very much however too little is not good either, as this will make it more difficult to properly look at and smell the wine

• The customer should start by first swirling the wine, then looking at it, then perhaps swirling it again, then smelling it several times, before actually tasting it. This is not showing off at all. This is how a wine should be tested and checked. You look at it because the colour, the clarity and the meniscus (edges or rim), can tell you a lot about the wine. You swirl it aerate it and to release the aromas and flavours. And you smell it because our sense of smell is much more sensitive than our sense of taste. In fact in many cases if you look at the wine well and then smell it thoroughly, you don’t even have to taste it, especially with whites which are usually much less complex than reds

• Feel free to smell the cork, but only if you know what you’re doing. Also be aware that smelling a cork will never give you even a small proportion of the information acquired from the sight, smell and taste of the wine, so don’t be surprised if you cannot smell anything amiss, while the customer can

• Wait until the taster confirms that it is ok. Do not start pouring before

• If the customer claims that the wine is off, do not argue. If your wine suppliers do not accept wine returns and replace them with no questions asked, then change suppliers immediately, as all serious ones should. If they do this already, then what on earth are your arguing for

• It can genuinely happen that the taster initially confirms that the wine is fine and that they only realise that there is something wrong with it later on, possibly even after the entire bottle has been poured out and perhaps even partially drunk. This does not make any difference. If the wine is genuinely off then it is off, so just replace it

• If more than one bootle of the same type is corked or not of a satisfactory level, then you might have been given an entire bad batch. It is best in this case to suggest to the customers to try an entirely different wine

• You start by serving the women, always! And you always serve by standing behind the client and from the right hand side, using your right hand, whether you are left or right handed. You are not flying an interstellar rocket, so learning how to do this is very easy! The only exception should be if you really physically cannot, because there is no way you can get behind them, otherwise you always have to. So once you serve all the women at the table, then you serve all the men. And at the very end you serve the person who tasted it. If however the taster was a woman, you may serve her after all the other women and before the men

• If the table has opted for more than one wine, particularly if it is a large table, then it would make a lot of sense to take one wine in each hand and as you move from person to person you ask them which one they prefer, rather than going around the table twice. It is amazing how many servers fail to do this, wasting unnecessary time and effort. Each time a customer chooses the wine in your left hand, you do not pour with that hand, but you switch bottles and always pour with the right

• Do your very best not to spill one single drop ever, no matter how many glasses you serve. Like everything else it is simply a matter of practice. Never move the glass or touch it or raise it above the table. Do not either rest the bottle on, or even touch the glass. You should be perfectly capable of serving in any position and any distance without ever spilling at all. Practice!

• Never serve huge amounts into the glass, no matter its size. As a rule of thumb try to get at least six servings from a bottle, if you are getting less, then you are pouring too much

• Big glass or small glass you might be asking? Well traditionally the larger glass used to be for the water and the smaller one for the wine. Today however the trend is being reversed and more often than not customers understandably prefer using the larger one for the wine. Naturally I am referring to table settings where both glasses are similarly shaped

• In certain establishments the first glass is waiter served and then the bottle is placed on the table for the customers to help themselves, which is fair enough, if this is the style of the place. If however you are expected to regularly top us glasses, do ensure that you do not do this too often. It is extremely annoying when the second your glass is starting to empty it is immediately topped up too frequently. It shows that you are too pushy, unjustifiably increasing consumption, and getting patrons drunk

• When emptying the last bit of the bottle, do not stand there for ages letting it drip until it is bone dry. On the contrary, traditionally you would leave a little bit in the bottle in the case of sediment and although this is not so much expected nowadays, once the bottle is just about empty turn it back up and take it away

• With each and every bottle without exception, the customer is to taste it upon its opening. The fact that you are serving the same wine has absolutely nothing to do with it. I explained above why wine is tasted, so if you have already served an abundance of bottles of the same type, there is still a chance of encountering a bad one, even if it is the tenth one of the same brand. So don’t ask, just bring an empty glass each time and provide a little bit for the taster to approve. Doing this in a fresh glass is also imperative, so as not to mix tastes. Once the wine has been tasted and approved, it is customary to remove this glass for the simple fact that the taster would otherwise soon end up with countless glasses on the table

• If the wine is being changed to a different one, not only is it inconceivable to top up and mix two different even similar wines in the same glasses, but also to use the same glasses when empty. So fetch fresh glasses each and every time a new wine is being served. If the customers themselves tell you to leave the same glasses, then it is always best to mildly insist on changing them anyway, as this will ensure more enjoyable drinking by all. If however they really make a fuss and simply don’t want to change, then this is obviously their prerogative. When serving successive bottles of the same wine, glasses are not changed

• Every time a bottle is empty go ahead and ask whether they would like another one, unless the meal is virtually over. Certainly if they have finished, or are just about to terminate their main course, then it is futile and even annoying to ask

• Traditionally if the customer places an empty bottle upside down in a bucket, then this signified that they require another one. However in today’s world many are not aware of this, and do this simply when the bottle is empty. It is therefore always prudent to ask before fetching another bottle

There is of course infinitely more to learn and do not in any way imagine that you are already approaching somellier status simply because you know the above. There is a plethora of knowledge even strictly concerning only the serving of wine, ranging from temperature, the right glasses, decanting, letting it breath, sediment and countless other issues.

So the above are simply the basics and as basics they should be known and practiced by all.