FACE CHANGE LIKE AN OPEN BOOK

We were expected to divide something like 85,365 by 35, without the use of a calculator and only with a pencil and a piece of paper. Now go image that! Yes I just about missed the dinosaurs by a couple of years, but I can distinctly remember the gradual introduction of the humble calculator.

But the funniest thing of all is that this perfectly harmless and now indispensable and ubiquitous gadget, was then actually considered evil! Can you believe that too? In many people’s minds it would cause the destruction of the human mind, by ridding it of the vital function and ability of counting and making arithmetical calculations mentally. So we wasted years of lessons and homework reciting extremely strange and equally tedious lists of numbers we then called times tables, totally in uninterestingly flightless and monotone parrot like fashion.

Yes, this was somehow considered far more desirable than using time, effort and brain storage space for more useful and productive matters.

Somehow my instinctive response to change, progression and advancement in everything in life, has always been viciously positive and in favour, and I have always told the conservatives and the stick-in-the-muds to get a life or to get lost, and calculators were definitely no exception.

Then of course came the computer, that most evil of machines, which would bring the world to an end, as it was destined to replace all human employees and simply take over from them, dealing humanity that final and cruel blow. I distinctly remember telling people not to panic and reminded them of the calculator. Oh but this is different, they said – this is really evil.

Then came the mobile phone and anyone using one was deemed pretentious, rude, noisy and a general nuisance. I tried to tell people this was yet another great invention they should embrace, but no, mobile phones were unnecessary and evil.

The Internet came with its horrific porn, for what else could the Internet offer but filth and evilness?

But what mostly gets me and which tends to annoy me, is that these same people who initially didn’t want a calculator and now own 20, who didn’t want a computer and now would commit suicide without one, who resisted a mobile phone for years and have just bought one for their six year old grandchild, just continue to fall into the same lame reasoning each and every time. With any hint of change or advancement they claim abuse and yell stop! In spite of the obvious and glaring facts, they continue with each consecutive step forward, claiming that this is the one which is different to all the rest and which is totally unacceptable. They simply forget that this was always their very same attitude with all of the changes before, changes which they now so totally embrace.

There is much talk that handwriting might now be on the way out and they scream heresy. Spelling and grammar is also being questioned by many. Do we really need such strict rules on the way we talk and write? I for one would much rather communicate, understand and make myself understood in say 16 languages with little concern for such unimportant detail, rather than do so in only two or three, while following such meticulous rules. Think about it a bit and try to move away from the past. Is it really and truly necessary? All those years and effort for what? Simply not to rite in this maner were ruls are no longar hevy bat lite wile stil making perfect sens. I wod lav to be abil to rite like this in fifti langwigis and make mayself anderstud.

Yes I know it takes time, as everything else. But then, as more and more people embrace it, it finally becomes the norm and we all come to be part of it and never look back. Such is change and many people’s initial resistance to it.

Facebook is one of the latest wide sweeping changes which took the entire world by storm. All related statistics are simply mind blowing. It suffices to say that there are now 1.5 billion active monthly users and that almost one in every four people on earth has a FB account and this includes developing countries, which by far make up the majority of the world’s population.

But the biggest joke of it all is that there are still people around who laugh at us users and at the entire concept of Facebook, rather than laugh at themselves.

Do these troglodytes ride a donkey to work and make fire by rubbing two sticks?

Can they still be unaware that Facebook allows you to find friends, make new friends, keep in touch with existing ones, chat, socialise, share your experiences and those of others, participate in groups and fora of interest, play games, sell your junk, purchase more junk, find a job, find an employee, look for services and products, advertise your business, find contact details, book stuff, check out reviews, post reviews and recommendations, source all types of info, purchase anything under the sun, follow news and events, send private messages and photos and files to whom you want? Oh yes and a lot more. And all for free! Yes for free!

Most of these people use Google don’t they? So why is Google less evil? These are the people who screamed porn at the Internet in its earlier years and who now scream promiscuity and lack of privacy about Facebook. They claim that they don’t want to tell the world that they are having a shower and that they are away on vacation and to reveal photos of their most intimate moments to the world. For as soon as you join FB you are assigned an entire film crew who follow you around 24/7, into your bedroom and bathroom, filming and broadcasting your most intimate moments.

Fear is always brought about by ignorance and by the unknown and FB is certainly no exception. We all remember the old computer saying – garbage in garbage out. Well exactly the same applies to FB. You feed it exactly what you want and you and others get out of it exactly the fruit that you sow.

But I am obviously and forcibly preaching to the converted here. Only that any lingering feelings of guilt or doubt amongst frequent users should now be abandoned. We are not FB addicts but avid FB users. FB has not taken over our lives – we have chosen to use it as a convenient and super effective basis to much of our lives. We spend a lot of our time logged in, in the same way that we leave the water heater, the fridge, the aircon and the wifi switched on.

Do we have to post a pic of us dining out with our partner? No of course not, in the same way that we didn’t have to send that postcard when we were away, or make that phone call to a friend to chat about our day. Do we have to tell everyone what we’re cooking? No of course we don’t, in the same way that when meeting at parties, we don’t need to spend all night making useless small talk.

FB hasn’t changed us in any way. It has only greatly enhanced our communication capabilities, in the same way that a horse or a mule used to take us from a to b as a car does in a much quicker and more efficient manner today. Does a calculator make us count any differently? No it doesn’t. Counting is counting and 85,375 divided by 35 is 2,439 whether you do it manually and mentally, or with a calculator. The only difference if that doing it manually would probably take most of us a few hours today, if not prove to be an impossible task, while doing it with a calculator is instantaneous.

FB allows the more reserved amongst us to retain all their discretion and caution and to pick and choose what, when and with whom they communicate. It also allows the more outspoken individuals to post their news, thoughts and activities to the entire world at the click of a button, if they so wish. If you have say a thousand friends, it would take you an entire week to phone them all, or if you are perfectly organised to cc them all in an email in just a few seconds. But emails have zero interactivity and serve quite a different purpose. With FB all you do is post the exact content of you choice and let all your willing friends react to it. They can then in turn also interact with each other.

This is your showcase, your broadcasting channel, your telephone, your email, your life, your new you!

My only hope is that soon FB will learn how to heat water, cool food, refresh air and transmit broadband, then I won’t even need to invest in a water heater, a fridge, an AC unit and a modem.