Unfortunately I was diagnosed at a rather young age with a hiatus hernia. Although this is something rather bothersome, it is an ailment which you can learn to live with, provided that you observe a certain diet.

Basically you must avoid all foods which either are acidic, or which cause the stomach to produce too much acid. You also have to steer clear of foods which may cause reflux and particularly those which can irritate the oesophogus.

So it was no hot drinks, no fizzy drinks, no juices and no alcohol. No fruit or tomatoes, no onions or garlic, no aubergines or peppers. Nothing spicy, no sauces, no gravy and no pepper.

Quite a tall order you might think, especially if like me, you love such foods and drinks.

Like so many other Maltese families mine has a strong history of diabetes. My mum and most of her side of the family in fact passed away from direct complications of this terrible disease.

So after several years of diabetes limbo of sorts, when I was considered a pre-diabetic, a few years ago following a couple of rather alarming blood sugar level readings, I received the final verdict and was transferred from limbo straight down into hell!

So I was now strongly recommended to avoid all foods with a high sugar content such as all sweets and desserts, jam, honey, breakfast cereals etc. Carbohydrates too are to be avoided as these are transformed into sugar by the body. So there goes bread, cakes, biscuits, pastries, pastas, battered or breaded items and the like. Foods with excessive starch can also be harmful so preferably no potatoes and no rice.

Now one of the most common complications of diabetes is heart disease, from which my poor mother passed away and towards which I also have a tendency. So I was immediately told to avoid anything high in cholesterol such as eggs, all dairy, seafood and anything fatty such as lamb, pork, sausages, hams and preserves. Also no fried items either and certainly nothing deep fried. No oily foods either as these are all high in cholesterol.

This overall condition comes in a lovely big package which also includes hypertension. So no salt and nothing at all salty such as pickles, all canned foods, all packet foods, cured meats, smoked meats and fish. No olives, nothing in brine and no salted items whatsoever.

It was an ominous day when I finally decided to sit down and to attempt the impossible. To combine all lists and make one super list of all taboo items to truly see, based on my proud collection of ailments, which foods and beverages I can safely consume.

Once the list was compiled it was a perfect replica of a comprehensive guide to all existing food and drinks on earth. There seemed to be literally everything on it and what I had effectively done was simply to compile a list of everything. From a drinks point of view I was very literally left with water and nothing else.

I tried everything to cross check my list of forbidden foods with anything existing, until finally I managed to find something infinitely small and insignificant. Yet there was at least something tiny which was permitted and these were seeds and nuts.

Provided that they are not salted then they are of no effect to my hiatus hernia, they contain no sugar, no salt and no fat. I realized that from all of the possible foods on earth that these were the only ones left and which somehow figured in none of my lists.

So I stocked up nicely on these humble items and also imposed my little reserved kitchen cupboard space, specifically for these blessed permitted foods. And slowly but surely I started developing quite a taste for them and ate them more and more. In our recent visit to Dubai I even went as far as investing €75 in two packets of luxury nuts, so much had their perceived value in my miserable life increased.

Since a couple of months ago I started feeling a gradually increasing pain in my lower abdomen. It wasn’t appendicitis and it wasn’t a hernia either, so the docs suspected stones. However many tests later I was finally diagnosed not with stones but with diverticulitis, which is a painful condition of the intestines, to which their is no particular cure.

And now if you don’t believe me go and look this one up… When I asked the doctor what I could do to relieve it as no medication exists, he replied just drink plenty of water and please make sure to avoid seeds and nuts.