I will start by going straight to the point without mincing my words in any way. This was unfortunately the very worst meal we have had in a very long time.

I always make it a point not to write entirely negative reviews and will make no exception here. I have heard positive comments about this relatively new restaurant and therefore must assume that under different circumstances diners might not encounter the disaster which we did, during our miserable experience.

We normally avoid busy Summer weekends like the plague and do our best to stay at home quietly, or if we venture out at all, it is always to visit friends at their own private homes. We try never to eat out on such busy nights and this was the one single occasion since the end of Spring, when we had no other option than to go out on a Friday night. We were very rudely reminded what a waste of time and money the whole experience can turn out to be.

When I called to reserve I was asked to arrive late, after 21:30, when there would be a table available. So sure enough the four of us arrived on time, to be greeted by an exceedingly charming lady, who not only found us a table, but also very kindly complied to moving us outside upon our request.

Shortly after we sat, we were very efficiently tended to by the head of section Sam, as well as several other servers, who were constantly present throughout the service and who I must say did a very god job of serving us and everyone else there.

This is a very obvious franchise concept restaurant, originating in South Africa, where everything is tailor-made, carbon-copied and stereotyped, in typical marketing-is-king manner. But even this I don’t mind at all, provided that behind the hype and the gimmicks is good food and good service, which was definitely not the case when we were there, at least.

They have a fantastic sounding menu, with a pronounced wow factor. Seafood, mussels, prawns and fish on lovely platters, all for exceedingly affordable prices. Sushi, sashimi, tempura, all packaged up to share between 2 or 3 or 4. A menu which was obviously scientifically created to hit people’s psyche and imagination and all with very low pricing. All is done to make you wonder how seafood can be offered at such low prices.

Although we were four, our table was laid for three and throughout the meal until the very end, everything kept coming in threes. So every time more plates and cutlery arrived it was always for three and never for four, in spite of our many reminders. But this was no big deal and also kept us amused. It seemed that their operational system was obviously stuck on three and once that figure was keyed in at the very beginning, it will remain until the bitter end, which was most obviously the case.

But again this was but a small detail. The fact that the tables they use for four are actually the size of a normal table for two, when they particularly specialise in platters to share, is most definitely an oversight or a misjudgment of sorts. Why should we spend much of the evening trying to move glasses and tableware around to try to miraculously fit in the platters on behalf of the waiters? Their tables simply need to be much larger.

We ordered a mixed platter with mussels, prawns, calamari and fish, a mixed sushi platter, a tempura plate and two small sashimi plates. We asked for all this to be served at the same time. Sam who took the order, informed us that the sushi could take up to 20 minutes to arrive. We weighed our options, and in spite of the time which was by then nearly 10pm, we agreed, especially as we asked him to serve our other orders beforehand, as soon as they were ready.

So we waited and we waited and we drank some wine, then we waited a bit more. Then we drank some more wine and we waited and waited again. I knew that they had been busy, although where we were sitting outside, very few new tables had arrived with or after us, so presumably the kitchen should not be that busy, unless they had a very very long backlog, even if this was in any way my problem in the first place. I did my very best to keep my calm and continued waiting and drinking. However, more than 50 minutes and two bottles of wine later, all the fun and pleasure was totally drained from within us, and by then we were contemplating on going back home. It is hard to sit at a table, hungry, with absolutely nothing to eat for virtually an hour.

I called Sam and firmly but politely told him that we were virtually at the end of our patience. He promptly told us that he would check with the kitchen to see what the situation was. Within a few minutes he returned and much to our astonishment he incredulously informed us that the food would still take a while longer, possible another 15 minutes at least. I really couldn’t understand how a bitterly complaining table is rudely ignored to this effect and when I told him that we would rather cancel and leave, he made it very clear that if this was the case, then it wasn’t a problem, and that this was obviously our choice, making it very clear that from a kitchen point of view we simply had to like it or lump it.

I must make it clear that he was not acting out of arrogance or neglect. He was very obviously briefed to act in this manner and was simply fulfilling his instructions.

I would have been more than happy to leave there and then. I mean where on earth should you accept to be seated virtually at 10pm, go through the normal processes to have drinks and then order, then wait for a whole hour, only to be told that you have at least another 15 minutes before you stand a chance of being served!

I looked around the table and only saw pleading hungry faces. My wife made it very clear that she was in no mood to go home and cook until the early hours of the morning, and now that we had invested so much of our lives desperately waiting, we might as well continue waiting a bit more.

Yes again I have to insist that this Sam character was exceedingly smart and courteous, so I took a very deep breath and told him that we will stay, although I was disgusted by the kitchen’s attitude. In normal circumstances such complaints are not fobbed off with such a take it or leave it attitude, but rather are treated with an all hands on deck approach, to ensure that a wrong is turned into a right, but no, not here! They showed zero customer care and appalling complaint handling skills, apart from Sam’s patience.

So more than an hour after we ordered, the mixed platter arrived. It was ok, it was fine, but to make it very clear, this is no Mediterranean style restaurant serving fresh fare as we normally expect and are accustomed to.

it was a selection of half shelled frozen mussels cooked in cream, half prawns, deep fried calamari rings and a dryish frozen fish fillet, accompanied by chips and rice, all on the same platter and served with ketchup and mayonnaise, in a McDonalds seafood fast food concept sort of way. And in the end I suppose if this is what you want, why not. But don’t go comparing some fancy restaurant mixed fresh seafood platter with this fast food fare.

Have you ever wondered why nightmares always seem to get worse, no matter how unlikely this seems to be? So as Sam serves us this platter, he goes ahead and informs that the sushi will be at least another 15 minutes!!!

At this point we just look at each other and laugh, as any last hopes of salvaging the evening in any way had long withered away. We just shrugged our shoulders, as the kitchen had obviously done in our regard and realised that we simply had no choice and that any of our concerns would be simply thrown into the dustbin.

The sushi, tempura and sashimi finally came and I have to admit in all objectivity that with the exception of the sashimi, this was the very worst sushi and tempura I have ever sampled and by a long shot. I won’t even bother going into detail, it was just pretty awful. I did not include the sashimi because I refused to even try it.

At a point in time there were two dubious individuals dressed as fake chefs in funny uniforms which included aprons, but which obviously only served marketing and not cooking purposes, who were floating around the tables. The female version came to us and asked us in a tape recorder sort of way if everything was ok. I calmly mentioned that it was a disaster, at which point she instantly went into the defensive, made a few exceedingly poor and intelligence-insulting excuses about a sushi chef having succumbed to some accident and quickly proceeded to move away to hopefully happier tables. If this was in any way meant to make us feel any better I can safely say that it only made the entire scenario exceedingly worse!

Were we properly listened to? No. Were we given any relief or consolation? No. Was our complaint given any importance and at least did they try to make good for all their shortcomings? No. Were we given any form of compensation, discount or recompense? Absolutely not. Nobody cared!

I asked one of the friendly servers who the fake chefs were and was informed that they were the managers. When I said that the managers actually had a lot to learn from the servers, who were infinitely more concerned and courteous to the customers then them, the server fully and genuinely agreed.

At this point you may be asking how can this not be a negative review when the overall service, which naturally includes the waiting time, was abysmal and the food was dreadful.

Fine, let us now start listing the various positives. The serving staff where exceedingly gentle and friendly, even in front of very disgruntled customers. I must make it clear that in such circumstances I refrain from being rude or arrogant in any manner, I just make my point very clearly and firmly, to the extent that the staff themselves can only empathise and agree. However in this case what I find incredible is that although their front on house where very understanding and appreciative of our terrible plight, they were unable to do anything about it.

Every single server outside was friendly, efficient and had the situation totally in hand. One of the biggest telltale signs is that they often roamed around checking out tables and returned to their base empty handed, indicating that they were well ahead of overall service and that the entire disaster was coming solely from the kitchen.

The location, décor and ambiance of the establishment is splendid by all accounts, and really leaves little to be desired. The concept too in theory holds so much potential and looks so appealing, if only the food was of an infinitely higher standard.

The combination of more classical seafood dishes with sushi and sashimi makes so much sense, if only fresher ingredients and chefs who knew what they were doing were used.

They seem to have it all in theory and also have managed to engaged some excellent serving staff. It is only their managers and chefs who might need to be replaced. And provided that it is made clear that the seafood is not served in fresh Mediterranean style, but more in Northern European custom, then I am sure that there are fans for this too. But such waiting times and such a poor excuse for sushi simply cannot be accepted.