When I started working in the early 1980’s, we actually corresponded with clients by typing and mailing letters to each other. They usually went something like this.

Dear Sir (Madam didn’t even exist back then!)
Reference your correspondence dated 6th April, 1982 ref. AB0312FJX-05b
I am in receipt of your introductory information and am rather delighted to inform you that we are now considering to sojourn at your esteemed establishment in the Summer of 1985. While apologising profusely for the short notice, would you be kind enough to mail to us your rate card for 1985, a map of the vicinity, as well as photographs of your double rooms. We have enclosed an A4 self-addressed envelope for this purpose.
I remain, most respectfully, your interested client, and bid you every success in your acclaimed business endeavours,
Clarence Howard Hughes esq.

Then in came the fax. Oh yeah we all had so much fun and games with those good old faxes. At least we finally had instantaneous transmission of information, which did in many ways revolutionise communication. And it went something like this.

From : Alexander Bonello
To : Mr Joe Smith
Date : 6th April, 1988
Subject : Purchase of Apartment
No. of Pages : 245 (snigger)
Dear Mr Smith
Thank you for your interest in purchasing one of our seafront apartments. Please find attached all relevant information, site plans, internal layouts and estimates for finishings works.
Sending you my very warmest regards,
Alex
PS. Make sure that you have a couple of extra paper rolls handy. And oh, don’t forget to photocopy it all as it will soon mysteriously vanish and you will end up with what looks like a blank roll of very wide and silky toilet paper.

But then arrive our lovely dialup machines with their eerie brrriiiiippprrrrzzzeeezzzz alien sounds which lo and behold brought us emails. So correspondence evolved to something like this.

Good Morning
Would you kindly forward me more ample details regarding the position you have advertised on the Daily Maily.
Regards
Mike
PS. Don’t forget the attachment as you did last time!

Now emails too are gradually on the way out, and being replaced by Whatsapp, FB Messenger and the like. Today, after I sent out a few FB messages regarding my marketing and writing services, I genuinely received the following reply, also in the form of a FB PM from a new client who was interested in my services.

Price?

It was naturally this incident which instigated this piece.

We are no longer interested in niceties and useless talk, it’s all straight to the point and to the extreme. Well unless you are a governmental department, or some form of state or related authority. Then of course it’s back to the 1980’s and even further beyond!

I still receive many of these :

Email from the Buzejza Local Council – total population 4.5 (the .5 is probably the mayor).
Call for Quotations no. 2015BUTmOreLikE1915/yawnnnn
As part of the upgrading of the Buzejza Local Council, we are in the process of purchasing the following stationery items :
1 x plastic ruler
2 x blue biros
Interested parties are required to physically pick up our 48 page tender document against a fee of €100 and to submit their proposal, along with a full description of their professional experience in related works, birth certificates of all the company directors and their spouses, as well as a bank guarantee for €45,000, as assurance of the good working order of the material provided, and this by not later than the 6th April, 2016 at 08:42, when our offices close. Should a tendering party approach any of the Councillors on a personal level and offer any form of gain such as villas, cars and yachts, they will (not) be immediately disqualified…….

Some things simply never change.