His name was Michel Gasparini. Quite an unremarkable man. Short, overwieght and slightly balding. Very unassuming and with absoloutley no pretence, or claim to fame. Single and a bit of a loner, this was a rather unspectacular man.

I met him in the Western suburbs of Paris in 1986, when he was a direct colleague of my French ex-wife. We never got too close or personal, and I couldn’t have met him more than half a dozen times. But in spite of all of this and the thirty years which have since elapsed, I still remember him distinctly and for good reason.

It must have been on the first occasion that we met, at one of my wife’s work functions, that I was listening in on a conversation between him and some of his mates. It was the normal expected chitchat, talk about their work and other mundane matters. Then suddenly one of them touched what seemed to be a rather hot topic, about rumours that their company might be laying off some workers the following year.

The tone instinctively harshened and people aired their concerns. They all talked of their financial commitments, about the reluctance and difficulty of looking for a new job. All of them revealed a certain uneasiness and anticipation, to see if and when such hearsay was in any way founded.

I was keeping my distance, as the matter did not directly concern me. But as I watched and observed, I noticed that while all of them had visibly been absorbed by this new turn in the conversation, Gasparini had kept the same smile and nonchalant look. He put in the odd word here and there not to be totally left out, but he certainly aired no concern.

Then my wife turned up and joined in the conversation. But I soon asked her why Gasarini seemed so detached and she laughed out in front of the others “Haha my husband asked why Gasparini isn’t worried about getting the sack”. They all laughed and giggled and by general consensus I was informed by all that Gasparini never gave a hoot about anything and that he had a totally relaxed approach to life.

I found this rather intriguing and at the first opportunity I grabbed a quick tete a tete with this unique chap. In so many words he chuckled away with me that he had managed to train himself to take everything with a massive pinch of salt and that he simply refused to worry or get upset about anything.

I initially thought that this might be fun party talk, or just generalisations on his part. However as several of the others joined in next to us, stories of court cases, divorce, health problems, his house catching fire, being falsely accused of theft and being arrested, attempts at being humiliated in front of his colleagues by his boss, and other substantially alarming stuff, was revealed about him. Not to incriminate him in any way, but simply to clearly and unequivocally demonstrate that nothing could ever perturb him. And sure enough, at each of these personal disasters, he laughed and he cracked a joke, and he recounted how merry his was at the time, to the great puzzlement of judges, lawyers, police, insurance surveyors, and all others around.

On the few other occasions I met this man, I always brought up the subject, which in no manner bothered him. On the contrary, he always found new fascinating stories, which would for others translate in a mini nightmare, but which for him were clearly the occasion for a joke and a laugh, both during and after the otherwise harassing experience.

His philosophy was simple, and one known to all, and repeated by many, but truly practiced by very few. It is totally futile to worry and get upset, in fact it only made matters worse. So good old Gasparini had somehow managed to totally disconnect himself from these negative feelings and was literally a very happy man.

As may be seen I have never forgotten this unusual man whom I have always held in great admiration. I cannot say that it has always been my main ambition in life to emulate him, and neither can I say that I did not gain directly from his inspiration.

Our past experiences and the people we meet in the long journey of life, all have some form of impact on our psyche and our behaviour, and it goes without saying that some affect us more than others.

Today I am proud to have finally made it into the Gasparini world of total zen and bliss.

It was obviously a long and slow process, made up of countless little stages in my life. The recent passing away of both my parents contributed to my present attitude, as did my following decision to slow down my work and take more time to enjoy life.

In fact it was a very recent and nearly sudden realisation, that I had finally achieved this elated state.

I can honestly say that now absolutely nothing worries me, I remain unruffled and composed no matter the situation. I simply cannot be troubled or harassed. And above all I have no issues with anyone or with anything, anymore. I have worked out all my issues without exception, and although I obviously have likes and dislikes and preferences, I am totally cool with everything.

Not one person truly upsets, I simply give more attention to some rather than to others. In fact I must admit that those who place themselves as my adversaries tend to amuse me, more than anything else. And what entertains me most is their seriousness and the gravity they give to such situations.

As for all the world’s issues and troubles and tribulations, yes I am very aware of them all. I know that there is suffering and pain and injustice, but my consciousness and knowledge is never transferred into anger or frustration. People’s ignorance and abuse will generate scorn and disdain, but no emotional and passionate behaviour. If people are crass and uncouth and politically incorrect, it does nothing to me more than a chuckle and perhaps a snide remark.

I have however, not only managed to retain my passion and fervour towards life, but also to greatly intensify it. In the process of desensitising myself from the negative, the anger and the frustration, I have simultaneously succeeded in shifting this emotion and sentiment to all that is positive and joyful.

I feel more, I am far more sensitive, I love stronger and I laugh harder and much more frequently. My passion for life has greatly increased, for all that is good and fun and beautiful.

It might sound strange, but I must admit that I am a perfectly happy person.

I care about everything, yet I don’t care too much. I live and let live more than anyone else. I cannot be provoked or angered, simply because I easily rise above it.

I no longer follow the quest for happiness, as I can honestly say that I have fully found it!