What immediately comes to mind is the spectacular setting of this venue, positioned right on the water’s edge, with an unencumbered panorama of Mellieha Bay in front of you.

I wasn’t quite sure whether they would be open, being off-season, mid-week, and lunchtime, due to their location, however upon arrival not only were we informed that they will be open throughout Winter, but they were also extremely busy. So they must be doing something right.

Being a day with exceptionally clement weather, their large outside terrace and adjacent balcony were in fact full, so we were seated inside. However this took absolutely nothing away from their wondrous positioning, as much of the seaside facing wall has been very cleverly replaced by clear glazing. There were few occupied tables inside, which also made for a nice, quiet and intimate setting for us.

In spite of the restaurant being so busy, I must say that the service was of a very high standard. A large part of it was definitely based on the fact that they had a generous staff compliment. This contrasts sharply with so many establishments where you are faced with virtually a full house of customers, with only one or two staff members swept off their feet, trying desperately to cope, or worse still, having visibly long given up on even trying, taking their time to serve at their own pace, probably even hoping that patrons will tire waiting and leave.

But besides a hefty team of servers, there were obviously a couple of people there who were superior to the rest and who were running the show. Probably a restaurant manager and a head waiter or two, yet another sign of good management. I think that it is essential to have a hierarchy in place, rather than just a number of servers with no one for customers and for the staff themselves, to refer to when in need.

Lastly, on the point of service, every single staff member was courteous, polite and helpful without exception, denoting either good professional training, or simply a situation where they are led by example to act in this manner by their superiors.

We were only in the mood of a very light lunch, so we only had one course. Not like us, but exceptions exist in every rule. We had deep fried calamari rings which were excellent and if you might be thinking that this is something pretty much hard to get wrong, then I really beg to differ, as few places are able to produce this to such satisfactory standards. We also had a Munchies Special Burger which is one of those burger dishes with everything in it. The pure Angus burger was tasty and of obvious high quality. I did however find it ever so slightly overcooked and therefore slightly dryish.

We complimented our light lunch with a lovely Californian Woodbridge Chardonnay, presenting flavours of cinnamon and apples, ending in a distinctive oaky taste. The meal itself was finished off with coffees and cognacs.

I would much rather dine at such an establishment in Winter, well outside the Summer madness, and will definitely return in the coming months.

A restaurant review is exactly that – a review. It is not a report, or a long term study, or an in-depth analysis of an establishment. It is simply a snapshot in time, based on a one-time experience. Like a snapshot of an individual, you sometimes catch them grimacing and sometimes you catch them posing perfectly. But even if you catch someone at the wrong moment, you can still usually tell if they are attractive and good looking…

Having said this, reviewers can only be true to their experience and recount their opinions formed during that one sample meal. It is rather futile really, for others to try and dissuade them or to relate their own different experiences on other occasions. And as consistency is one of the pillars, not only of catering, but of most of the service industry, reviews make a lot of sense.

Yes this was a week of revisiting restaurants which we had already been to, and as Terrone is the favourite of some of our friends, we have now been there several times.

We do have to cross the entire country, but provided that we are referring to mine and not to my wife’s, this remains very much in the feasible.

The beauty of life, as well as the avoidance of a monotonous lifestyle, for us at least, is party due to the varied nature of our outings. We tend to enjoy anything from a wild and wonderful party to a book launch, as was the case in Mdina, this evening in particular.

So following the launch in Mdina of the lovely, illustrated Nature Guide Series Wild Flowers of the Maltese Islands, by Edwin Lanfranco and Guido Bonett, we proceeded to dinner in Rabat. We were in the more than splendid company of Yvette Farrugia Degiorgio and Jeremy Lanfranco, whose common surname with the author was no coincidence.

We have been trying to get into l’Agape literally for years. But being very much the sort who tend to confirm everything at the last minute, which allows us total freedom to change plans until the very last moment, each time we tried either on the day or even a day or two before, this restaurant was always fully booked.

So this time I made it a point for once to book more than a week in advance. The establishment is very small and it enjoys such an excellent reputation that it is simply always full. So the only way you will manage to have a meal there, will be by doing the same thing as us and booking many days in advance.

When I write these reviews I often find my own self a bit irksome and even annoying, that there virtually always seems to be something wrong. If it’s not the food it’s the service, or something went wrong with the bill, or one of the personnel at the restaurant behaved badly, or something or another seems to make that virtually perfect outing so elusive. But alas, in reality this is very much the case, and if I ever do tend to pull it slightly in any direction when recounting our culinary adventures, then it would certainly be towards toning down a situation which was actually worse than described.

But here finally is that very rare jewel of an evening which was simply devoid of any noticeable negatives and which somehow managed to tick all those boxes with a sigh of massive relief, proving once and for all that the perfect evening can exist.

I would not say that this was the very best food I have ever eaten in my entire life. Or that the service was the most spectacular and ceremonious I have ever encountered. Nor that the ambiance was so stunning that we were in picture-postcard paradise. No, but this is not the point. The point is that all aspects of this outing simply left nothing to be desired and proved to be more than worth our persistent efforts to finally try it out.

L’Agape is tucked away in a tiny square close to St. Pauls Church, right in the centre of Rabat. It is housed within a tastefully converted, small house of character, and although it is nothing particularly grandiose, it is certainly pretty, stylish and pleasing to the eye.

The place is run by two partners, Pierre Calleja and Chris Gherxi, Pierre running front of house and Chris the kitchen. However, as Pierre was away, it was Chris who looked after us throughout this most enjoyable of evenings, as he was positioned on the floor along with his customers. This already on its own, puts you on an entirely different dining level, to placing an order blindly with an uncaring server, in a hit and miss fashion, as is unfortunately the case in so many restaurants.

But in this particular case, not only was Chris’s knowledge most obviously infallible, but perhaps even more importantly, he showed absolutely no signs of self-importance or ill placed pride and never did he take on a condescending tone. For in spite of the distasteful nature of these traits, they can be very commonly found, especially with individuals whose establishment is chock-a-block virtually every day of the year.

So we very simply put ourselves in the very capable hands of Chris, who started by suggesting our wines, from what may be very easily considered as the best wine list I have encountered for many meals. It was excellently presented and was also illustrated, showing photos, amongst others, of every single wine label in stock. Now how’s that for a superb idea. Moreover, it contained a great choice of wines from all over the world. As I even remarked to Chris, this was a giant breath of fresh air, as following a strong trend to develop impressive wine lists only a few years ago, I now find that as an overall observation at least, that of late the general trend seems to be to offer a very small and disappointing choice of wines in so many restaurants.

Chris rightly encouraged us to try some of their own importation, consisting of a line of Piedmontese reds, produced by Fattoria San Guiliano. We started with the III Millennio (terzo millennio) 2013, which is a blend of Barbera and Nebbiolo, with a very limited production of only 3,000 bottles, of which we got number 0292. It proved to be a delicate, fragrant, fruity, cherry and rose flavoured medium bodied wine, with perhaps just a tinge of unnecessary acidity. It was nice however to start off with a wine which was not so full and heavy, as we normally tend to do.

My wife Maria who is going through a white wine phase in her life, requested a Castillo de Molina sauvignon blanc. I love this Chilean house and particularly find that their chardonnay riserva is a great wine, however in it’s absence she went for the sauvignon blanc, which is also a lovely, fresh, crisp, yet delicate and interesting wine. As she was the only one on white, Chris asked her whether she simply required one glass, however my instinctive burst of laughter and her stern yet deliciously charming accented reply “oh noo noo the whowle bwootle”, immediately expedited him in search of the closest bottle he could desperately find.

As we wanted to sample a different red, the second bottle we tried was a Langhe Nebbiolo by the same producer. Langhe being the prestigious area in Piemonte which produces great foods and wines, and nebbiolo of course being one of the most noble of Italian grapes which also produces great wines such as Barolo and Barbaresco. This was much more robust and full bodied than the first and accompanied our main courses perfectly well.

The menu at l’Agape consists very simply of a portable blackboard which is placed on your table, the contents of which change constantly depending on produce and preferences. There is therefore no fixed menu and you get the best of the moment. It is a very limited menu with half a dozen starters and the same amount of mains. This for me is a very clear sign of having their priorities in the right order. Quality not quantity as far as food is concerned. When over and above this the ratio of wines to food dishes reaches great heights, and here it must have been in the region of 10 to 1, I am in pure gastronomic heaven. My worst nightmare on the other hand, would be to encounter a menu with say a hundred items and a choice of two wines – red or white!

Upon our strongly expressed desire, Chris took matters in hand and prepared for us a lovely medley of starters to share. This included baby squid in a lovely, super tasty tomato based sauce. Mozzarella wrapped in Parma ham, lovely salty, smokey and tangy pork sausages form Catania, spicy beef meatballs and parmigiana di melanzane. All were delicious and scoffed down before you could say Il meglio della cucina italiana.

For mains, as this is very much a meat based restaurant, two of us had rib eyes, one had a veal chop and I had a beef tagliata. All were splendid, tasty, of excellent quality and perfectly prepared. All except mine. And if there were any shade of a doubt about Chris’s perfectly accommodating nature and great ability to deal with whatever comes his way in a mature and clever manner, then this would have certainly stamped out any such lingering uncertainty.

We are great fans of rare and more so blue prepared meat. We do however more than understand that certain cuts which contain considerable marbling require a bit more cooking to break down those fats. I did however make it a point to Chris, perhaps a bit too persistently, how I dislike overcooked meat, especially in view of chefs’ normal reluctance to serve you food the way you like it. But sure enough this was not the case here, and while all other dishes were cooked exactly to everyone’s delight, mine came a bit underdone for this particular cut, leaving it chewy and slightly sinewy. But this was exactly how I ordered it, so it only proves how attentive and compliant they are to their clients’ requests.

I have absolutely no problem whatsoever to admit a mistake and to show that I was wrong, especially as this is an extremely rare event… I was reacting to experiences in many other restaurants where you have to super exaggerate anything to try and get it roughly right. So I asked Chris if it could be cooked a bit longer, which again was absolutely no problem and he whisked it away only to return moments later with a perfectly cooked tagliata which was again tagliata in half to speed things up, if you see what I mean. There were no unnecessary ceremonies and childish I-told-you-so’s, just friendly and efficient service all round.

The portions too were extremely generous, much to Jeremy’s hoovering skills. I simply love red meat on a rare occasion, but I must admit that much as I enjoy it, I tend to get full with literally one or two tiny bites. Jeremy on the other hand, polished off everyone else’s, making us sit on our hands and tuck our precious fingers as far away from his ravenous mouth as possible.

One of our usual good meal indicators, is whether we take desserts or not. When things haven’t turned out exactly as we would have desired, we tend to skip these and to hasten the end of our meal. On the other hand, when everything is so delicious and delightful, we simply don’t want the meal to end.

Yet again we were treated to an extraordinary variety to share, this time made up of home made imqaret (deep fried date cakes) which were simply to die for, a lovely apple crumble sided with ice cream and a beautiful elegant tiramisu. All were scrumptious and not too heavy on the sugar, although I certainly won’t be checking out my sugar level this morning, damn diabetes…

Even the coffees were really lovely as were the various after-dinner drinks we also indulged in. And just to continue slamming it home, what a great place this is, both types of beverages were offered to us on the house!

Incredulously the bill came to just under €50 a head with the three bottles of wine and three courses each which also included very fine cuts of beef. Totally astounding overall and most definitely placing l’Agape up there with the very best.

The tables too are very large making for a very comfortable meal, and even the chairs were purposely selected for sheer comfort. Now how’s that for attention to detail and the opposite of greediness, especially in such a small restaurant crying out for more covers, rather than such spacious tables for the very few lucky ones who made it in.

I am definitely not surprised this place is always fully booked and it certainly won’t be long before we return again.

I had to choose a restaurant in the general Sliema/St. Julians area for a business luncheon. However luckily my client suggested a venue herself, which always eases up some of the pressure in case they don’t perform so well. So she proposed that we dine at Electro Lobster, which was more than fine with me.

We went for a table outside which proved to be simply a wonderful location. You are seated more than half way up Balutta Square, under the trees which give a lovely relaxing garden feel, and therefore quite set off from the main road. However you can perfectly enjoy the view of the bay and the sea and the bustling activity of everyday life on the front.

We were greeted and served throughout by a miraculous, smart and suave Neapolitan man named Luca. I use the word miraculous because it has become unfortunately exceedingly rare to encounter such obviously well trained and knowledgeable professionals in the service side of catering today. We are somehow producing more and more talent in the kitchen and less and less of it in front of house.

Restaurant owners must really start to realise that in the same way they would not trust semi-trained individuals, or worse still temporary worker ignoramuses, to run their kitchens, then by throwing these in as servers haphazardly they are only undoing their efforts in back of house.

Luca is a professional sommelier by professional and there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever about that. I got there a few minutes later than my client, not because I was late but because she was early. She was already on the prosecco when I got there, which gave me great pleasure. Nothing better than getting your client drunk to eventually get your own devious way.

When I asked for the wine list Luca immediately made his very valid suggestions and convinced us to try something different, based on his infinite knowledge. So first we went for a lovely pure, light, fresh and ever so subtly white peppery riesling, which we both enjoyed. We were so engrossed both in Luca’s skills, as well as in conversation, that we even had a second bottle of wine, asking Luca to suggest something different this time just for fun. He proposed an Austrian gruner veltliner which was even more interesting and complex, presenting a vast array of flavours – what a delight.

These are not wines I would normally order. I used to be quite a fan of riesling until on a couple of occasions I was served rather sweetish varieties, as the staff were totally uninformed, and I really dislike even slightly sweetish wines unless accompanied by sweet food. So unless I know the specific wine itself I now tend to avoid it. There are certain grapes which are normally associated with dry wines which can at times turn out slightly sweet, chenin blanc is another one of these. As for gruner veltliner I have often drunk this when traveling in Austria and remembering also stocking some for a while when we had our own restaurant but doubt having ever drunk it since.

But Luca’s skills did not end there. He served us throughout with perfection and with detail which did not go unnoticed. His served and cleared our table exclusively from the right hand side, an important factor of service which is all but being forgotten. This is in no way snobbery or symbolic etiquette. As most servers are right handed like anyone else on earth, serving you from the left tends to stick their arms and elbows right into your face, unless they are terrible double jointed at the elbow – not a pleasant thing at all. In fact if a server is left handed or for whatever reason must serve you with their left hand, in that case alone I would prefer that they serve me from the left. But proper service teaches you when you have a plate in each hand, first to place the one in the right hand always from the right, then passing the other plate from left hand to right and serving yet again from the right.

This is about as basic information and knowledge as it could ever get in restaurant service. However something tells me that for the vast majority of servers today this would sound as far fetched as asking them to perform cartwheels and juggle with your plates without dropping them.

Luca rightfully used a tray to bring to us even the smallest of items such as a fork or toothpicks. Another one of the basics of service. You never carry anything in your hands without a tray except bottles. He went as far as coming regularly to our table simply to turn the dishes in the centre of our table whenever the food on them on our side became scarce, simply to make it easier for us to reach and to help ourselves. Now that is what I call service!

Besides Luca, there was another young creature who also assisted in an extremely pleasant way, especially proving to be a feast to the eyes, well to mine at least. Much more of a feast than the food itself I must add.

We went for the day’s specials, consisting of lobster tempera and scallops on rice. The tempura was lovely and tasty and light and was served with an enjoyable tangy sauce. The scallops on the other hand were very poor and barely edible. I actually informed Luca to advise the chef to undercook them when placing our order. This is not actually the right term, as scallops should be ever so lightly seared and always served in this manner, virtually raw, when they are lovely. But through experience I know that many chefs tend to overcook them, so I thought it best to specifically point this out. In spite of this they turned up terribly overcooked and hardly even edible. Furthermore, the rice they were laid on was largely tasteless and uninteresting. I just about sent them back and in all fairness Luca even offered to do this, but we couldn’t be bothered waiting, especially as by then we were focused entirely on hard business.

These dishes were accompanied by a salad which was actually salty, visibly by the pre-addition of salt within it, which is a big no-no in my book. Also steamed vegetables which were nothing to write home about which is why I am writing about them here.

We finished off with a tiramisu to share, as yes, I always share my desserts at business lunches, it gives me that much more intimacy and leverage with my clients to get my own way. The tiramisu on the other hand was stupendous, which at least ended a mediocre meal on a much higher note.

So to sum up this meal, the ambiance was lovely, the service simply perfection with a sommelier-cum-server who knew his stuff to a tee and who served both in style and in cordiality. The food however left much to be desired, although admittedly we only had very few items, so we could have been unlucky.

The most important of all however, was that after all I got my way and got everything I wanted with my client. She was happily tipsy and with a bit of a push here, a shared dessert there, some charm and a dimpled smile, I got her to sign on all the dotted lines.

We attended a morning concert at the Manoel Theatre and nine of us had already decided to head straight to lunch immediately afterwards. I was assigned the dubious honour of selecting and reserving a restaurant for the occasion. A task which always comes with a certain amount of responsibility.

So I tried to weigh up all the options sensibly and finally opted for Cockney’s, for a number of reasons. It is located very close and within easy walking distance from the theatre. It is large and spacious and can very easily accommodate such a table, whereas so many restaurants In Valletta are small and cosy when dining for two, but would feel rather poky for a large table. Because it has an extensive al fresco dining area, which is so much nicer at lunchtime than being stuck inside. And perhaps most of all, because it offers a splendid view of Marsamxett Harbour and the surrounding towns, which can only greatly compliment any meal.

A couple in our party were also heading back to Sliema by ferry immediately afterwards, so this was also the perfect location for them, as it is located exactly where the ferry berths. So as one can see, I really put on my thinking cap for this one.

As we all had our priorities right, we started off by first ordering our wines. I can never understand people who arrive at a restaurant and who then choose to sit there for ages chatting and looking at the menu and thinking what they might eat, without first having ordered their wine.

We went for La Cala Vermentino di Sardinia by Sella Mosca, which as expected was a pale yellow, elegant and supple white wine, with crisp yet unaggressive underlying tones of acidity. As for red we selected the Simonsig Pinotage, which is a nicely perfumed, raspberry fruity and ever so lightly spicy South African favourite.

The menu consisted of fairly ordinary and unexceptional items, but there is nothing wrong with that, and provided that a restaurant offers a good standard of fare, it does not always have to be imaginative and out of the ordinary. Many people like to go for the good old favourites, provided that they are well prepared.

What was a bit more concerning, was the bold and inappropriate mention on the first page of the menu saying “Everything is cooked to order so please allow an appropriate waiting time” – a very outdated approach, I must say, especially for this category of restaurant which is not poised to produce magnificent works of art for dishes, but standard run-of-the-mill fare. I must admit that I cringed a bit when I say this, because if there is something I loathe at restaurants it’s waiting ridiculous times to be served.

Long gone are the days when you spent hours at table with long pauses between courses. In today’s dining world you might want to chat and drink before the meal and usually even more so afterwards, but once you place that food order, service is expected to be brisk and continuous and yes, including between starters and main courses. Not rushed of course, but few these days want to wait more than say ten to 15 minutes between courses. Trends change and providers must change with them. And the trend is very much not to give long pauses as in times gone by.

So seeing such a warning so prominently placed on their menu came as quite a shock. It is obvious and to be expected that everything is cooked to order, rather than shipped in from Sliema on the ferry in troughs and buckets on alternate weeks of the month! And then after all, in spite of this alarming disclaimer, and in spite of the fact that the restaurant was busy and that we were a fairly large table, the waiting times were more than acceptable. So that did turn out to be quite a false alarm.

Moving on the the food, there were of course a variety of starters and on the whole, all were of a good satisfactory standard. I had the Caprese Salad which was delicious and prepared with excellent mozzarella which I swallowed down rather enthusiastically. I was told that the spaghetti vongole was nice but just slightly too salty and that the penne with salmon and shrimps was most enjoyable even if ever so marginally overcooked. The deep fried breaded goat’s cheeselets were pronounced lovely, while the fresh mussels were average.

For mains several of us had rabbit which was fine, although I believe it could have been a bit more tender and succulent. My guess is that it needed more slow cooking to render it more pleasant. The grilled chicken breast was well enjoyed while the grilled calamari was tender but not remarkable.

Some had desserts, in the form of cassatellas and ice creams which were very pleasant, being tasty yet relatively light.

The food overall was by no means spectacular but it certainly was adequate and acceptable. The service was what I would term as uncoordinated and largely lacking attention. We were on two occasions brought the wrong wine, and on several others served both food and beverage items which were meant to be taken to other tables than ours. The style was a bit careless and inattentive, until towards the end of the meal it simply fizzled into a sad no server in sight situation.

One thing I find most annoying with big tables, is that not only do they not take note of individual placing when taking the order, but that servers come out with food, hold their head up high and shout out into the distant horizon, well above everyone’s heads and sphere of attention, expletives such as “Chicken, Chicken”, “Beef, Beef”, at the top of their voices. This only adds to the general overall noise which in turn simply makes everyone talk between themselves even louder, while subconsciously trying to block off their annoying yells.

The most effective method, if they still haven’t worked out how easy it is to take note of who ordered what in the first place, is the exact opposite to the one described above. It is to lower themselves towards the seated customers, look at them directly in the eyes and therefore addressing them personally, rather than speaking to the wind, and asking calmly and ideally softly, so clients actually have to stop talking between themselves to listen attentively, “is the chicken for you sir?”, and the whole table would stop to listen and would even help them out and direct them as to who ordered what.

But in spite of these small inconveniences it was still a good lunch and the positive by far outweighed the less positive. And most of all, based on my initial reasoning, the spectacular view did a lot to subdue the mind, feed the patience and happily expel any small rising frustrations.

We would gladly return to Cockney’s, especially on such a pleasant blue skied day.

It is about as far as you can get from anywhere in Malta, but like most other things it all depends on your perspective in life. If you simply look at the distance in kilometres and time, then you will automatically find it tedious and unnecessary. If on the other hand, as the old adage goes, you enjoy the journey, then this will automatically become a great destination, at the end of, about as scenic a drive, as you can ever get in Malta. And since this was only last week, the lovely deep Autumn colours were prevalent all the way, in the form of a bit of greenery, a deep blue sky and even deeper blue sea.

In this particular case however, improbable as this might seem, this specific location was selected because it was the most central and close for myself and a rather eccentric client I was meeting. I live in Burmarrad and he came specially from Gozo and asked me to find something in Malta as far North as possible, so Little Armier was bang in the middle.

I do not believe that many business lunches are held at Baia Beach, but why the hell not. Admittedly my client did ask me if this was a good restaurant, to which I truthfully replied in the affirmative, however while I knew exactly the style and wore short and a tee shirt, he came wearing formal business attire. Being Northern European and having arrived in the Maltese Islands quite recently, he visibly still needs a bit of readjusting to local lore.

So there we were, people running around in bikinis and flip flops, groups frolicking and relaxing, young and not so young couples obviously engaged in unashamed amorous activities, while we conducted our business meeting. But who cares.

The service was, as always so far, impeccable. Service should ideally be the right balance of professionalism, smartness, efficiency and politeness, with friendliness, conviviality and very important – smiles. And this is exactly what we got.

No serious business meeting may ever be conducted without good wine. So we went for a beautifully complex and intense Pouilly Fuisse Terres de Vergisson, which presented intricate flavours of fruit and minerality.

For starters we both had the tuna carpaccio, which was excellent in every respect. This was followed by a fritto misto which was pleasant and fine and a beef tartare which was extremely palatable and perfectly cut. My only suggestion would be to increase on the accompanying capers, spring onions and mustard, which are virtually microscopic in portion.

My biggest disappointment was that as the beef tartare was featured as a starter, I asked for it to be served as a larger portion, having taken it as a main course. Although the server never objected, he came back shortly and informed me that it cannot be changed in size. I have already mentioned this point here before, that unfortunately more and more restaurants refuse to change starter sizes, or those of any other dish, in many cases.

Having been in the trade, I fully understand that this may disrupt, precisely weighed portions, costings, pricing, stock control and other internal issues, and that it can be a nuisance to the operation of an establishment. But so can many other things such as several tables arriving at the same time, large tables ending up much smaller than expected, people turning up late, walk-in clients insisting on the best tables, customers asking for split bills at the end of the meal, the last stranglers staying on for ages sipping their last drink, and so many other frequent issues which are messy and undesirable for the restaurant.

Yet I still find it very rigid and unacceptable that such a basic request cannot be accommodated. There are an infinite number of solutions for such a small problem and certainly with an item such as beef tartare it shouldn’t be an issue to increase its size upon demand. Had it been say a whole fish and someone asked for a bit more, then I understand that the kitchen might be reluctant to serve one and a half fish, but this case was rather ludicrous.

I didn’t make a fuss, I just nodded and accepted, especially in front of my overseas client. We always automatically seem to want to iron out or conceal any inefficiencies we encounter in front of foreigners, as if we were personally responsible for them simply because we are Maltese.

As we were rather full by then, we first decided to skip desserts. But then somehow we changed our minds. However as we were not quite greedy enough to have one each, we shared a portion of delicious Sicilian cannoli between us, in true lover style. Now how’s that for a successful business relationship!

After the coffees we were very graciously offered a drink on the house, another very enjoyable but dying custom, I am afraid. Pricing could be considered slightly on the high side, with the carpaccio priced at €12 and €8 for two portions of chips accompanying our mains which one would normally expect for free. However this establishment is seasonal and will in fact close its doors until next Summer at the end of September, so I suppose a bit of a concession must also be made with this in mind.

Also worth noting it the fact that all dishes are excellently and artistically presented, more so than in so many other places. I always find this an added pleasure in the overall dining experience, especially when it doesn’t affect waiting times in any way.

It was a very pleasant lunch in beautiful surroundings, especially those clad in skimpy bikinis. Not your expected business lunch venue and to be perfectly honest, the whole ambiance did detract a bit from our working ethic and motivation. Much less was discussed and even less decided, than we had expected and intended. We might have to resort to another lunch in the very near future, but next time it will be in somewhere like Valletta, hoping that this time my client doesn’t turn up wearing a speedo!

We heard about the festival Stretta, celebrating the dubious past and much more palatable present of the infamous Strait Street in Valletta. So we decided to give it a go. What nicer way is there of spending an evening on a mild Summer’s night, than strolling around our now stylish capital, while having a few drinks here and there, then proceeding for a bite to eat, before ending in a clubbish bar once again? Hard to beat you might think…

So we arrived in Valletta at around 20:30 and as we approached City Gate, much to our horror and not so mild disgust, we heard crazed yelling and idiotic cheering of a maddened crowd. Much to our dismay, there was a political meeting right at the entrance of Valletta, occupying the entire square and hideously raping everyone’s mind with amplified decibels. Are we not past this dumbo stage? Does’t TV, radio, FB and Twitter suffice? Who would go screaming and shouting and waving flags and unashamedly displaying such idolatry and superstar status to politicians? Scary, very scary!

We immediately made a detour which luckily brought us directly to the top part of Strait Street. It was a very pleasing sight. Bustling with people, establishments of all types with tables and chairs outside, as well as a series of clever and symbolically red lights all along the street. So very alluring and definitely comparable to any historic European city we all rave about in our travels.

So as it was our intention to visit the entire street from top to bottom, to see what the festival was all about and to relish the activities and interests brought to the discerning public on this occasion, we started down into the first part of Strait Street. And the first noteworthy pitstops happened to be in the very beginning, in the form of renowned wine bar Trabuxu and directly opposite the newly opened art gallery of world renowned Krista Sullivan, called Gallery 223.

We had heard a lot of praise and tribute about this acclaimed artist, so we ventured inside to view the extraordinary artwork. It is all about colour and expression and passion and gut feeling.

So we toed and froed between the gallery and Trabuxu with glasses of wine, until finally we managed to convince Krista, the genius artist, to accompany us for a sit down bite across the road.

Trabuxu is housed within a typical vaulted Valletta cellar, with more charm than anything I can think of, except for the artist herself. It also has a nice buzz and a cool feel to it, fully corroborated and cleverly orchestrated by owner Kris Fenech Soler and staff. Krista by the way is not the wife of Kris, it is just a first name coincidence of sorts…

We had a lovely and smooth lasagne, an extremely tasty chicken liver paté and a lovely large and generous platter with fine cheeses and cold cuts and loads of crudities too. Everything was of top quality and thoroughly enjoyed.

The bill for this food, as well as two bottles of Santa Rita Chilean sauvignon blanc, plus a bottle of water only came to € 77, which I thought was a bargain.

We then proceeded across the road again and in a sudden irresistible urge of artistic passion, we purchased one of the mind blowing paintings there.

As we ran to our car exactly in the sudden heavy downpour, Krista phoned me simply to inform me that she paid the bill at Trabuxu, which I somehow had totally forgotten to settle!

We saw absolutely nothing else of Strait Street after all. But it is now so resoundingly obvious that there is a much nicer way to spend a Summer evening than strolling aimlessly around Valletta! Just spend the entire evening firmly anchored between Gallery 223 and Trabuxu, where you can purchase an enchanting painting and eat and drink for free!

This is one of the many eateries in the Tunny Net Complex down in Ghadira. It is the one at the top of the building offering slightly more formal dining than the other outlets.

It was our friends from England who chose to dine there and we naturally went along with their suggestion.

The subject of wine is as vast as an ocean, and in many ways the more you learn about it, the more you realise that you have barely scratched the surface.

This endless subject is even subdivided into different disciplines, such as viticulture or vinegrowing – which is the growing and harvesting of grapes, viniculture or winemaking – which is the production of wine, oenology – which is the science of wine excluding the two previous subjects, and matters related to a sommelier – which is the knowledge of serving and food paring of wine.

So the very last thing I would ever pretend to be is some sort of expert, and I truly consider myself to be positioned just marginally above the level of ignoramus. What I always like to say is that I only know the basics, but I know them well.

So here is a very simply summary of some of the basics a discerning diner should know.

NOTE ON OPINIONS. Yes everyone has a right to their opinion. You are perfectly free to believe that your Lada is better than a Ferrari, or that your six year old son sings better in the shower than Joseph Calleja. But really and truly this only shows your ignorance on the subject of cars and song. There are such things as internationally recognised standards and scientific studies, backed by the world’s most prominent experts in the field of wine, and if you don’t mind I will be subscribing to these in this article, rather than the deranged subjective nonsense of some 7Up mixing dumbo.

SNOBBERY
If you still, even in the remotest of ways, think that wine automatically signifies any form of snobbery, then you are literally decades behind. Grow up or shut up, wine is today about as exclusive and pretentious as owning a mobile phone.

WHEN BEST TO DRINK WINE
Wine was originally conceived and subsequently developed to accompany food and that is when it remains the best. Its popularity today has made it one of the most common bar and party drinks, even independently of food. However it remains best with food, in the same way that spirits remain best without food. And most importantly of all, most food is best eaten along with wine. Food and wine compliment and enhance each other, making them both taste better and offer you much more enjoyment all round when consumed together.

FOOD PAIRING
In today’s ‘anything goes’ scenario, as expected – anything goes. It is neither illegal nor immoral to have a heavy full bodied red with oysters, or a sweet white wine with steak, it’s just rather disgusting. If you have some fatal allergy to a particular wine, then fine, however the long established combinations of wine and food still stand as strongly as ever before. The basics are obvious – white wine with fish and seafood, a light red with white meat, full bodied red with red meat and sweet wine with desserts. Naturally there are a few exceptions as there are for every rule. For example a chilled gamay grape red such as a beaujolais nouveau could eventually be eaten with certain fish, if white will kill you. But from that to imaging that you can drink anything with any food is about as false a misconception as there could possibly be. If you are still not convinced then tell yourself that wine is exactly like food, some food items go with others and some don’t. Try ice cream with ketchup, if still in doubt. On the other hand, if you do retain a bit of integrity and sensibility, you will see how the right food with the right wine will elevate both to much greater heights of goodness and enjoyment. If not, just stick to 7Up and don’t even bother mixing it into any so called wine.

QUALITY OF WINE
There is an enormous difference between the quality of wines. Like most other things in life it is a matter of experience and of acquired taste. If you live in the worst block of the worst suburb of the worst town and have never ventured out of there, then you obviously do not believe that there is any better. Or if you ventured once down the road and found it virtually the same, you are still not qualified to talk about the entire planet. To use another popular example wines are like cars. Yes they all simply have four wheels and one engine and get you from a to b, but there is quite a big difference between a Skoda, a Honda, a Rover, a Mercedes, a Jaguar and an Aston Martin, and if you still can’t see it, it is purely based upon your own self-imposed limitations. But keep at it, practice makes perfect. Some may still not differentiate between a cube roll and an Angus steak and a wagyu kobe – again, entirely their problem. Keep trying – it will come in time, just stop going for the cheapest plonk, otherwise you will never refine your palate!

CHOICE OF WINE
In today’s commercial and competitive scenario there is really no excuse to purchase the cheapest wine around. It is exactly the same and equally distasteful as always selecting the cheapest food you can possible get hold of. The huge choice of wine and relatively inexpensive pricing has created a situation where with literally very few extra Euros, you will go from cheap disgusting crap to good decent wine, quite simply put. When you automatically go for the cheapest, you are always drinking the very worse detritus on offer. Train yourself slowly to appreciate the subtle differences between one wine and another and elevate yourself to a bit of qualitative thinking. In the same way that you do not deserve the very worst food a restaurant can offer, you do not deserve their very worse wine, which is probably used as cooking wine when purchased directly from the supplier. We are not talking about breaking the bank here, just investing very few extra Euros which will greatly increase the quality of the wine. You don’t have to go for a €100 wine and neither a €50 one, just one slightly better than the very bottom of the range,

WHITE, ROSE, RED
The colour of wine is related to the colour of the grapes, but in the following manner. To make white wine you take any colour grapes and remove the skins during fermentation. To make rose you take red grapes and leave the red skins in very temporarily. To make red wine you leave the red skins in during much of the fermentation.

SPARKLING WINE VERSUS CHAMPAGNE
You hear many saying that they prefer prosecco or cava to champagne and that’s fair enough. Again everyone has a right to their opinion. It is obvious that there still unfortunately exist those who would prefer mixing Brunello with 7UP or even Coke, and they too have a right to their sordid opinion. But in reality, those who like any type of sparkling wine but not champagne, are those who have not yet fully developed their taste in such beverages. For champagne is simply the best and finest and highest quality type of sparking wine around. As we all (should) know, it is simply called champagne because it is produced in the Champagne region of North Eastern France. Now admittedly not all champagne is fantastic. And many sparkling wines from other countries such as certain Spanish cavas are truly excellent. But before you blurt out obscenities, such as oh champagne is so overrated and this cava is much better, look properly at the label. You will see that if your sparking wine is truly of good quality, it is in fact produced in exactly the same way as champagne and bears the insignia of ‘methode champenoise’ or ‘methode traditionelle’, simply meaning that everything was done to the smallest detail to imitate true champagne. For champagne is subject to the most stringent regulations and criteria and it can only be of a very high standard. It is therefore the ultimate and finest of sparkling wines. Other types of bubbly are usually a bit fizzier and slightly sweeter, which in terms of sparkling wines are not particularly desirable attributes, but which for the untrained tongue are more pleasing in a Blue Nun/7UP sort of way.

DOES PRICE GUARANTEE QUALITY
I will keep this one very short and simple. The reply is – no definitely not. But if you are still a novice and have very little idea on wine in general, then it is by far the very best indicator around!

WHY DO YOU TASTE WINE
You taste wine to see if it is of acceptable quality and satisfactory condition. In other words if it is corked, or off, or oxidised, or has production deficiencies, or is well past its peak, or is being served at the wrong temperature, or tastes unfresh and mouldy. So plastic and screw top bottles should still be tasted, as the only deficiency they cannot have is being corked, all of the others are still very possible. On the other hand you do NOT send a bottle back because it is not to your taste. That is totally ridiculous. You are meant to know what you are ordering and if you do not, then ask the staff. If they too have no idea, then fine that is another story and they get what they deserve…

HOW TO TASTE WINE
There are meant to be three distinct stages in tasting. Before you start, you swirl the wine not at all to showoff, but to aerate it, so as to bring out the flavours and aromas. Then you are meant to look at it properly which can often reveal a lot on its own. Most white wines for example, should be very light and pale in colour, and a darker, golden hue is not a good sign. With red wines you usually look at the rim or meniscus. If this is very watery, then the chances are that is it a low quality wine. If it is light, purplish-blue, then it is a younger wine, while if it is brownish, it is probably well past its peak. Also when you give it a good swirl, the liquid will cling to the sides of the glass and when it trickles back down a more viscous wine with heavy, noticeable trickles lingering on the side of the glass, indicates a high alcohol content.
You are then to smell the wine for a very valid reason. The sense of smell is enormously more sensitive and powerful than taste, so a lot, and sometimes more, may be sensed through smelling.
Lastly you taste to finish off your mini inspection of the wine, to tell if it is in good shape and of expected quality, for that particular type of wine. You also ensure that the temperature is right.

HOW TO DESCRIBE A WINE
You need not go into the more extreme and subtle notions of bouquet and palate. In the beginning just keep it simple. Sweet, semi sweet, fruity or dry. Light, medium or full bodied. Acidic, fresh, mellow or flat. Soft or tannic. And you’re already halfway there.

GRAPE VARIETIES
There are endless varieties which are very different from each other. Try to learn the most popular ones and their principle characteristics. For example Chardonnay makes a fruity full bodied white. Sauvignon blanc makes a floral aromatic white. Moscato makes a sweet white. Nebbiolo is full bodied red. Cabernet Sauvignon is red and spicy. Merlot red, round and balanced. There are hundreds of varieties, however no more than say two dozen or so which you initially need to remember.

DO COUNTRIES OF ORIGIN AND GRAPE VARIETALS MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Yes, an enormous difference. In fact if I had to give any basic advice to anyone on the very first steps of choosing a wine, then these would be my very first two criteria. Know your countries and grapes, the rest will then slowly follow. To take some obvious examples, if you go for a Chilean sauvignon blanc, although there are many subtle differences between each wine, you will find that they are all terribly similar. The same goes for say a South African chenin blanc, an Italian nero d’Avola and a French merlot. It is always best to get to know varietals by their respective country, as often their nature and character could change considerably from one country to another. For example the syrah grape in France and northwestern USA tend to be tannic, peppery and dry, while in Australia where it is known as shiraz it if extremely fruity and even bordering on the sweet. Chardonnay in the new world is much fruitier and softer and mellow than it is in Chablis in Northern France, where it is bone dry and even flinty.

WINE NAMES
Besides the country/grape combinations which clearly denote specific types of wines, you should also try to familiarise yourself with the most popular place names and types of wines. I am referring to such common examples as say Gavi, Chianti, Valpolicella, Barolo, Rioja, Chablis, Sancerre, Beaujolais, St Emilion, Chateauneuf du Pape and the like. There aren’t really hundreds you need to know. In the beginning if you get accustomed to say even a couple of dozen, it will enable you to instantly know that say a Gavi is a pleasant dry Italian white and a Chateauneuf du Pape is a full bodied French red, although admittedly in this case white does also exist but is not usually expected.

REGIONS, SUB REGIONS & VILLAGES
Without starting to panic, countries are divided into regions, regions into sub-regions and sub-regions into villages and place names, each of course with their own characteristic qualities in wine. One typical example is Bordeaux, which is subdivided into regions such as St Emilion, Graves, Medoc and Sauternes, amongst many others. Part of Medoc is referred to as Haut Medoc, Haut Medoc consists of several villages such as Margaux, St Julien, Pauillac and St Estephe. But don’t panic, everything in its own time.

SPECIFIC WINE BRANDS & VINTAGES
Similarly placenames and villages will have various labels and brands and chateaux and properties and wines. And lastly vintages too can make quite a difference. As I said in the beginning, wine is very vast. But it is more important to understand the system and the complexity itself, than trying to memorise every single wine from day one. So in this case all you need to know is that there is so much you don’t know!

AOC/DOC AND OTHER APPELATIONS
In virtually all wine producing countries there are very precise regulations as the labelling and nomenclature of wines. One of the most common of these is the AOC/DOC classification. In Italy it refers to DOC (Denominazione di Origine Controllata), while in France the equivalent is AOC (Appellation d’origine contrôlé). These classifications refer to stringent production methods which should in principle guarantee a certain quality and to a very rough extent they do. There are many more categories denoting quality as is for example ‘premier cru’ in France, which denotes much higher status than AOC, and IGT (Indicazione geografica tipica) in Italy, which is lower ranked than DOC. If you have the time and the inclination, familiarising yourself with these basic terms will also teach you a lot about wine and help you understand a wine label much better.

SUMMARY
Don’t let yourself be daunted. Take it one step at a time, be adventurous, experiment and enjoy. There are few things in life which imperatively make you drunk while you study, so believe me this is about as good as it gets!