For those who might not be familiar with the term, umami is the fifth basic taste which was added to the previously existing ones of sweetness, sourness, bitterness and saltiness. Items that are particularly strong in this taste are monosodium glutamate (MSG) and tomatoes.

Quite a smart name for a smart establishment, which is the latest addition at Saqqajja Steps, which has become a little Mecca for good eateries.

Upon arrival we were given the choice of a table inside or out, which was nice. We had a look inside, but in spite of the stylish interior, we immediately dashed back outside, at the horrifying sound of screaming children.

So we settled down outside at a lovely table with views over much of Malta and after having repeatedly insisted that we did not desire aperitifs, we selected a bottle of Chilean Apaltagua Gran Verano sauvignon blanc as well as a Chateau Lamarsalle Saint Emilion 2011. The sauvignon was not exceptional but very acceptable, while the Saint Emilion was a luscious, soft, round and velvety treat, in spite of its relatively inexpensive price We were very obviously drinking it at the right age when it was at its peak. There were four of us there, as we were accompanied by our dear friends Ted and Carolyn from the UK, and as some wanted white and some wanted red, we simply went for one of each.

Their menu is concise. to the point and very nicely laid out. I can even say that although it is stylishly and well described, for once the food was actually better than portrayed and than expected. Many menus incite visions and promises of grandeur, only then to be followed by relatively mediocre dishes. Well here it was the opposite. The food was pretty well described in the menu, but then it also exceeded all expectations.

We were in fact regaled with one remarkable dish after the other, all of an extraordinary level. Before we started we were served very nice homemade warm and crusty buns of bread, which was accompanied by a simply delightful cepe and garlic butter, which was to die for. This was shortly followed by an equally irresistible amuse bouche in the form of fish cakes, accompanied by a sweet chili sauce and mint and avocado reductions, set on seaweed.

For starters we had the beef shin cakes with horseradish, baby chard and radish, which was lovely and crispy on the outside and beautifully cooked inside. I would just say that it missed an additional ingredient to spice it up a little, perhaps a touch of curry or something similar.

We also selected the raw langoustines which were perfect and presented in such an appealing and straightforward manner. There was an Angus beef carpaccio with mustard leaf, parmesan and balsamic caviar, which was about as good as it gets. And also fresh mussels which were tasty and very well prepared.

For our main courses we all decided on their meat board, which consisted of lamb fillet, sirloin steak and rib eye steak. Their sight alone was as impressive and splendid as the taste. It was a rather massive portion for two, which admittedly we were unable to finish and ended up taking most of it home. Both the lamb and the rib eye were spectacular both in taste and in texture and the sirloin wasn’t far off. It was served with a fantastic, mild but tasty and not overpowering pepper sauce, as well as a mushroom sauce which was not as impressive, but believe me, we could live with that.

Yet another very pleasant surprise and unfortunately quite a rare occurrence elsewhere, was that the side dishes too were delicious. The potato wedges were very moreish and the grilled Mediterranean vegetables were a compulsive eat.

But our delightful meal didn’t end there. When you are treated to such impressive fare you extend the meal for as long as you can. So we had a vanilla and orange crème brulee with ginger macaroons, a caramelized banana with dark chocolate shavings, shortbread and toffee cream and a chocolate mousse with Gran Marnier ice cream, hazelnut praline and pear and prune samosa, as well as a homemade vanilla ice cream. All were simply outstanding and the very best desserts I have had the pleasure of eating in a very long time.

So simply full marks on the food. Most of the dishes also included some additional and very original ingredients, such as various molecular reconstructions and vegetable and flower powders. There is absolutely no doubt that chef patrons Luke Piscopo and Isaac Sciberras know exactly what they are doing in their kitchen! The food arrived ever so slightly slower than one would have liked, but in view of its quality and intricacy one really has to make some concessions.

A restaurant meal is not just about the food but also about the overall experience and the outing, otherwise most of us would stay at home to eat. Although we all have our own personal yardsticks, I would probably accord 4 points to food, 4 points to service and 2 points to ambiance, on a general scale of 10 when dining out. For I believe that service is just as important as the food. If served an excellent meal in a terrible manner, I find this impossible to enjoy. If the food is mediocre but the service is excellent, then it makes the pill, or should I say the food – much easier to swallow. So for me at least, both food and service are of equal importance.

The service at Umami is entrusted in the very experienced hands of veteran Anthony Pace, who has been working in the trade for many years. He obviously knows it all and shows absolutely no reserve in displaying it. All the motions are there and the right techniques are applied. Anthony is obviously old school and was trained in a time when being somewhat pushy and over-persuasive might have been the norm. Also when constructive criticism might have been less acceptable. Even in instances when he was very obviously wrong in certain descriptions, such as insisting that the Maltese ‘silla’ with its scarlet flowers, is called hay in English and not a variety of clover, he still somehow retained that slightly condescending edge.

We would be talking amongst ourselves and he would be comfortable to butt in and join in the conversation, without being invited to do so. Each bottle of wine was first aptly served with a clean glass for tasting, but was then slightly expeditiously poured before we had a chance to approve. We also soon gave up trying to indicate who as on white and who was on red, as he happily poured both types for everyone each time. There were amusing mini arguments as we insisted to order the food and drinks we desired, and not necessarily the ones he wanted.

But what might have started with a hmm ended in a ha, as we slowly grew fonder of his quirky and somewhat haughty nature. He plays his part with perceived authority, and in the end we all decided to play his game, so as not to spoil our evening.

We also had the dubious pleasure of meeting a birthday boy by the name ofMarc Spiteri, another patron who was sitting at the next table. When our friend Ted stood up to take a photo of us, Marc himself insisted to take the photo. However he proceeded in hitting one of our bottles of wine, sending crashing to the floor. In an unexpected show of generosity, he insisted on buying us a full bottle, although much of the one he dropped had already been drunk. We look forward to bumping in to him again soon, and to him bumping into our half empty bottles of wine.

We ended this splendid meal with coffees and drinks before we asked for the bill. At €68 each it wasn’t cheap, but in the end such meals cannot come cheap. The meat board did look expensive at €55 for two, but the amount of meat on it was impressive, as intricately explained and strongly defended by Anthony, when we mentioned this to him. I did also point out that charging an additional €2 for each of the pepper and mushroom sauces might be unnecessary, however here too he had a good go back at us… I also find that many individual items were slightly overpriced, such as a standard cognac at €7. But in spite of this I cannot say that it wasn’t worth while.

As we got no joy from Anthony, we spotted one of the chef patrons who came to sit at a table just next to us. So we purposely discussed rather loudly and admittedly cheekily how the previous custom of offering patrons a drink on the house is fast disappearing. On each successive mention of this matter he perked up his head and ears, until I very humorously brought out the joke into the open with him and spoke to him directly. I confirmed with him jokingly that he was one of the chefs and complimented him on the fantastic meal, at which point I got a blank nod and he walked off back into the kitchen.

Oh well, they have definitely mastered the kitchen, perhaps in time they will also master their PR.

Valletta on a Summer’s evening is about as good as it gets on our little island, in so many ways. Since its recent cleanup and reawakening, it offers the visitor heaps of stylish architecture, elegant ambiance, limitless character and is so conducive to leisurely strolls in the soft indirect lighting. It has come such a long way from the previous evening ghost town with the current great choice of restaurants, clubs, cafes and bars, which are open until late.

We were rather pleased when our generous hosts Paul Peter Azzopardiand Kristina Arbočiūtė chose a restaurant in the capital for this occasion.

We started off with a nice pre-dinner drink at Charles Grech on Republic Street, in the form of a bottle of 35 South sauvignon blanc. This was stylishly served along with a range of elegant complimentary snacks, which should be the norm in such venues.

We sat there relaxed and chatting and people watching and were also regaled by a display of several refuse collection trucks, which I assure you is not me being characteristically sarcastic. The impossible has finally hit us, in the form of extremely fancy looking, squeaky clean, creatively painted with astonishing artwork, literally polished and shiny, refuse collection trucks. Many have seen them and many have not. I still haven’t managed to reveal the whole story behind this novel idea, but whoever it is that took this initiative certainly deserves much applause, even only because everyone sitting there outside at Charles Grech was awestruck by this unexpected display.

We then thoroughly enjoyed the walk down to Old Bakery Street and to Capistrano Restaurant which is a small, quaint and cosy establishment Paul and Kris were rather familiar with.

Although every table was taken and the entire service was managed singlehandedly by a very smart and efficient Macedonian gentleman, not much more could be done to improve upon it. It really goes to show that also with staff it is the quality that counts and not the quantity. In many countries such as France, we have often noted that the order of the day in many small restaurants is to have one single person up front, running the show with absolutely no assistance, and we were very pleased to have experienced this in an equally perfect fashion at Capistrano.

The girls decided to continue on white wine and selected an Escudo Rojo suavignon blanc which was crisp, floral and aromatic and very pleasing to the palate. Us old boys opted for red and we went for a Lebanese Chateau Kefraya Les Breteches, which although admittedly is not at all the top wine of this illustrious winery, it is nicely balanced and round, yet fruity and vigorous in a rather direct and straightforward way.

For starters we had a wild mushroom tart with caramelized onions, asparagus and parmigiano which was beautifully presented and although the mushrooms did not seem to be wild, it took nothing away from the goodness of this multi-textured dish.

The girls both had cured salmon with prawns, avocado mousse and squid ink aioli, which was fine and refreshing, however perhaps a tiny bit too salty, which tended to mask the other delicate flavours.

Also a goat’s cheese mousse with sun-dried tomatoes, olives, broad beans and pumpkinseed wafer. This was also cleverly presented and offered so many different colours, textures and flavours.

I found all starters to be elegant, refined and subtle, even perhaps just a tad too subtle, as I am a firm believer that good food should come with good wholesome and ideally rather intense flavours. However this is but a small side note and one I usually only afford to dishes of an undoubtedly high standard.

Both our hosts strongly recommended the pan roasted venison fillet and as it is understandably not a dish we eat every day, they easily convinced us to give it a try. In typical fashion, we had ours as rare as it comes, while they had theirs medium. It was all cooked to perfection and the meat was very simply excellent and irreproachable.

It was plated along with glazed carrots, crushed peas, creamed goat’s cheese and a port wine jus. All these accompaniments were also lovely, however, especially as the jus was quite weak in flavour, I would have preferred much more robust and tasty items and sauces, which would have complimented the venison in a much more suitable manner, than such delicate fare.

Similarly, we were served roast potatoes, shredded cabbage and caponata to share and although all items were individually very pleasant, I found that particularly the caponata was ill matched to the venison, especially as it was rather strong in olives and capers.

But yet again I would like to emphasise that these minor observations take nothing away from the overall quality and enjoyment of the meal.

If we had desserts this is an automatic indicator that we didn’t want the meal to end. We had a lemon pannacotta topped with a mint sheet and with berry coulis, lemon curd and raspberry ice cream. It was relatively light and refined. We also had an apple and walnut cheesecake with apple crumble and green apple sorbet, which was even better and tastier.

At the end of our meal we had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with the pleasant chef Malcolm Mifsud, who is also part of the family of owners. We happily discussed the above and several others points in the most objective, forthright and undefensive of ways, which is so healthy, proactive and refreshing.

We were also very kindly offered a couple of drinks on the house, before we enjoyed our stroll back through the magnificence of Valletta by night, ending a lovely evening, at a good restaurant, amongst very good friends.

I will start by going straight to the point without mincing my words in any way. This was unfortunately the very worst meal we have had in a very long time.

I always make it a point not to write entirely negative reviews and will make no exception here. I have heard positive comments about this relatively new restaurant and therefore must assume that under different circumstances diners might not encounter the disaster which we did, during our miserable experience.

We normally avoid busy Summer weekends like the plague and do our best to stay at home quietly, or if we venture out at all, it is always to visit friends at their own private homes. We try never to eat out on such busy nights and this was the one single occasion since the end of Spring, when we had no other option than to go out on a Friday night. We were very rudely reminded what a waste of time and money the whole experience can turn out to be.

When I called to reserve I was asked to arrive late, after 21:30, when there would be a table available. So sure enough the four of us arrived on time, to be greeted by an exceedingly charming lady, who not only found us a table, but also very kindly complied to moving us outside upon our request.

Shortly after we sat, we were very efficiently tended to by the head of section Sam, as well as several other servers, who were constantly present throughout the service and who I must say did a very god job of serving us and everyone else there.

This is a very obvious franchise concept restaurant, originating in South Africa, where everything is tailor-made, carbon-copied and stereotyped, in typical marketing-is-king manner. But even this I don’t mind at all, provided that behind the hype and the gimmicks is good food and good service, which was definitely not the case when we were there, at least.

They have a fantastic sounding menu, with a pronounced wow factor. Seafood, mussels, prawns and fish on lovely platters, all for exceedingly affordable prices. Sushi, sashimi, tempura, all packaged up to share between 2 or 3 or 4. A menu which was obviously scientifically created to hit people’s psyche and imagination and all with very low pricing. All is done to make you wonder how seafood can be offered at such low prices.

Although we were four, our table was laid for three and throughout the meal until the very end, everything kept coming in threes. So every time more plates and cutlery arrived it was always for three and never for four, in spite of our many reminders. But this was no big deal and also kept us amused. It seemed that their operational system was obviously stuck on three and once that figure was keyed in at the very beginning, it will remain until the bitter end, which was most obviously the case.

But again this was but a small detail. The fact that the tables they use for four are actually the size of a normal table for two, when they particularly specialise in platters to share, is most definitely an oversight or a misjudgment of sorts. Why should we spend much of the evening trying to move glasses and tableware around to try to miraculously fit in the platters on behalf of the waiters? Their tables simply need to be much larger.

We ordered a mixed platter with mussels, prawns, calamari and fish, a mixed sushi platter, a tempura plate and two small sashimi plates. We asked for all this to be served at the same time. Sam who took the order, informed us that the sushi could take up to 20 minutes to arrive. We weighed our options, and in spite of the time which was by then nearly 10pm, we agreed, especially as we asked him to serve our other orders beforehand, as soon as they were ready.

So we waited and we waited and we drank some wine, then we waited a bit more. Then we drank some more wine and we waited and waited again. I knew that they had been busy, although where we were sitting outside, very few new tables had arrived with or after us, so presumably the kitchen should not be that busy, unless they had a very very long backlog, even if this was in any way my problem in the first place. I did my very best to keep my calm and continued waiting and drinking. However, more than 50 minutes and two bottles of wine later, all the fun and pleasure was totally drained from within us, and by then we were contemplating on going back home. It is hard to sit at a table, hungry, with absolutely nothing to eat for virtually an hour.

I called Sam and firmly but politely told him that we were virtually at the end of our patience. He promptly told us that he would check with the kitchen to see what the situation was. Within a few minutes he returned and much to our astonishment he incredulously informed us that the food would still take a while longer, possible another 15 minutes at least. I really couldn’t understand how a bitterly complaining table is rudely ignored to this effect and when I told him that we would rather cancel and leave, he made it very clear that if this was the case, then it wasn’t a problem, and that this was obviously our choice, making it very clear that from a kitchen point of view we simply had to like it or lump it.

I must make it clear that he was not acting out of arrogance or neglect. He was very obviously briefed to act in this manner and was simply fulfilling his instructions.

I would have been more than happy to leave there and then. I mean where on earth should you accept to be seated virtually at 10pm, go through the normal processes to have drinks and then order, then wait for a whole hour, only to be told that you have at least another 15 minutes before you stand a chance of being served!

I looked around the table and only saw pleading hungry faces. My wife made it very clear that she was in no mood to go home and cook until the early hours of the morning, and now that we had invested so much of our lives desperately waiting, we might as well continue waiting a bit more.

Yes again I have to insist that this Sam character was exceedingly smart and courteous, so I took a very deep breath and told him that we will stay, although I was disgusted by the kitchen’s attitude. In normal circumstances such complaints are not fobbed off with such a take it or leave it attitude, but rather are treated with an all hands on deck approach, to ensure that a wrong is turned into a right, but no, not here! They showed zero customer care and appalling complaint handling skills, apart from Sam’s patience.

So more than an hour after we ordered, the mixed platter arrived. It was ok, it was fine, but to make it very clear, this is no Mediterranean style restaurant serving fresh fare as we normally expect and are accustomed to.

it was a selection of half shelled frozen mussels cooked in cream, half prawns, deep fried calamari rings and a dryish frozen fish fillet, accompanied by chips and rice, all on the same platter and served with ketchup and mayonnaise, in a McDonalds seafood fast food concept sort of way. And in the end I suppose if this is what you want, why not. But don’t go comparing some fancy restaurant mixed fresh seafood platter with this fast food fare.

Have you ever wondered why nightmares always seem to get worse, no matter how unlikely this seems to be? So as Sam serves us this platter, he goes ahead and informs that the sushi will be at least another 15 minutes!!!

At this point we just look at each other and laugh, as any last hopes of salvaging the evening in any way had long withered away. We just shrugged our shoulders, as the kitchen had obviously done in our regard and realised that we simply had no choice and that any of our concerns would be simply thrown into the dustbin.

The sushi, tempura and sashimi finally came and I have to admit in all objectivity that with the exception of the sashimi, this was the very worst sushi and tempura I have ever sampled and by a long shot. I won’t even bother going into detail, it was just pretty awful. I did not include the sashimi because I refused to even try it.

At a point in time there were two dubious individuals dressed as fake chefs in funny uniforms which included aprons, but which obviously only served marketing and not cooking purposes, who were floating around the tables. The female version came to us and asked us in a tape recorder sort of way if everything was ok. I calmly mentioned that it was a disaster, at which point she instantly went into the defensive, made a few exceedingly poor and intelligence-insulting excuses about a sushi chef having succumbed to some accident and quickly proceeded to move away to hopefully happier tables. If this was in any way meant to make us feel any better I can safely say that it only made the entire scenario exceedingly worse!

Were we properly listened to? No. Were we given any relief or consolation? No. Was our complaint given any importance and at least did they try to make good for all their shortcomings? No. Were we given any form of compensation, discount or recompense? Absolutely not. Nobody cared!

I asked one of the friendly servers who the fake chefs were and was informed that they were the managers. When I said that the managers actually had a lot to learn from the servers, who were infinitely more concerned and courteous to the customers then them, the server fully and genuinely agreed.

At this point you may be asking how can this not be a negative review when the overall service, which naturally includes the waiting time, was abysmal and the food was dreadful.

Fine, let us now start listing the various positives. The serving staff where exceedingly gentle and friendly, even in front of very disgruntled customers. I must make it clear that in such circumstances I refrain from being rude or arrogant in any manner, I just make my point very clearly and firmly, to the extent that the staff themselves can only empathise and agree. However in this case what I find incredible is that although their front on house where very understanding and appreciative of our terrible plight, they were unable to do anything about it.

Every single server outside was friendly, efficient and had the situation totally in hand. One of the biggest telltale signs is that they often roamed around checking out tables and returned to their base empty handed, indicating that they were well ahead of overall service and that the entire disaster was coming solely from the kitchen.

The location, décor and ambiance of the establishment is splendid by all accounts, and really leaves little to be desired. The concept too in theory holds so much potential and looks so appealing, if only the food was of an infinitely higher standard.

The combination of more classical seafood dishes with sushi and sashimi makes so much sense, if only fresher ingredients and chefs who knew what they were doing were used.

They seem to have it all in theory and also have managed to engaged some excellent serving staff. It is only their managers and chefs who might need to be replaced. And provided that it is made clear that the seafood is not served in fresh Mediterranean style, but more in Northern European custom, then I am sure that there are fans for this too. But such waiting times and such a poor excuse for sushi simply cannot be accepted.

This was my first time to this trendy eatery and it involved a business lunch with a work contact who recommended it, being very close to his office. It is part of the Vila complex and is situated right on the sea front.

As the name implies, it is a casual diner yet perfectly stylish and also offering quite an extensive menu with something for anyone’s taste. I did not look at the wine list as I contended myself with beer on this occasion,especially as I was predictably the only one drinking alcohol.

Here is another restaurant we have had the pleasure of recently returning to. It is always worth while writing about such experiences because I can compare between meals and knowing the restaurant also enables a deeper insight into the establishment.

We were very well looked after by the helpful Tom, who being Irish, has IRA connections and is therefore not the person you would want to irritate. Suffice to say that one of my very few negative remarks last time round was that we were never given the opportunity of tasting our second bottle of wine, while this time, being six at table and having gone through more bottles than I would like to admit, he presented me with a clean glass to sample each one of them without fail.

I will not dwell upon the service, which was simply excellent throughout and which also culminated in a few drinks on the house at the end for good measure.

Here again, having very recently dined and reviewed this commendable restaurant, I will limit myself to highlights for the purpose of this article.

We all had very satisfactory dishes, both as starters and as main courses. Terrone offers Italian cuisine on a refined scale, thankfully well superior to your average and ubiquitous trattoria style restaurant on every street corner, which frankly has long become rather boring and monotonous.

I personally had fritti misti di pesce as a starter, which although not as spectacular as the caponata I had last time round, was perfectly fine. This was followed by a sole which was so fresh that it was literally just out of the water a few hours before. As discussed at table, sole is rather underrated in Malta. Might it be that many Maltese still associate it to Dover sole and are not even aware that there is also Mediterranean sole which is caught in our waters? In any case, mine was truly excellent and cooked to perfection. It’s rather unique taste and texture was very well enjoyed.

Being a hot Summer’s day we all decided to skip desserts and indulged in countless coffees and drinks.

We enjoy Terrone for a number of reasons. It is cut off from the main and rather congested part of Marsaxlokk. Tom’s pleasant skills and abilities are a great balance of friendliness and efficiency and are masterfully adapted to the client at hand. Their food is excellently prepared and often based on straightforward fresh ingredients as is typical of Italian cuisine, but then bumped up a notch or two in very obvious levels of refinement.

They have a rather extensive choice of Italian wines with very little else except local, a concept so prevalent abroad. I am still not sure if this is the right approach in Malta, with our eclectic expectations in wine. However it did push us to sample a rather nice grecanico, which we otherwise wouldn’t have had.

Also at the end I went for several Amaro Lucano’s which I hadn’t had in many moons and which I simply adore. But noting ends a splendid Italian meal better than a quick sampling of grappas, of which they have many. It really is a good thing that my car knows it’s own way from Marsaxlokk to Burmarrad, as there is no way that we would have made it back home otherwise….

There are few things that can lift the spirits of two old and fading men more than being accompanied by four gorgeous creatures on an outing.

So in spite of the stormy weather and the rough seas, we all huddled up on the Gozo ferry with Paul Peter Azzopardi and myself proudly accompanied by four stunning creatures.

We were previously booked for dinner at it-Tmun a few days earlier, however everything fell through at the last minute, compelling us to cancel. So in such circumstances I always make it a point to make it up to the restaurant by rebooking on another occasion. And so it should be, especially when you cancel on the same day when the restaurant is very busy and you know that they have already turned down other tables to retain yours.

Tmun has the enormous advantage of being at Mgarr and therefore within easy walking distance from the ferry, enabling you to leave your car in Cirkewwa and walk across. This makes for a lovely overall outing with two mini cruises thrown in, unless it’s raining that is! And yes it was raining fairly heavily when we were berthing in Mgarr. But in a big stroke of luck our dear friend Julian Boffa happened to be on the same ferry with his car and agreed to run a shuttle service for us between the ferry and the restaurant against two and a half glasses of wine.

We have dined at Tmun for many many years and I have already written a full and detailed review here on this esteemed establishment. I will therefore limit this piece to the highlights of our meal and the more noteworthy aspects of our evening.

Let me start by saying that this was in the height of August and the restaurant was packed and right in the middle of their busiest season. So there very visibly some members of staff who were helpers and who in all probability were just there for a few weeks of summer work and who’s long term profession is definitely not catering.

Having said this, although service was at times a little but shabby, it was still on the acceptable side most of the time.

So as to compensate our staunchly awaiting taxi driver, we immediately went for a Chilean Cono Sur sauvignon blanc, based on a rather strong and misplaced recommendation from the head waiter. It turned out to be well past its best, being a 2013 vintage and had largely lost its supposed greenish yellow tinge to have turned dark gold in colour. Its taste too could immediately be deemed as flattish and decidedly well past its peak.

I informed the server and we then changed to a Chilean De Martino sauvignon blanc 2014 which was much better and most enjoyable.

Our starters on the whole struck a very good average, although I was by far the most unlucky one. I asked for the calamari rings and scallops which turned out to be very overcooked. I was hungry and didn’t want to disrupt the whole table by sending it back and waiting for a new one, so I ate it anyway. When Leli the owner asked us how the starters were and I informed him about mine, he simply ensured that I was provided with another one, no questions asked and naturally without charging me for it. This is what I call problem management par excellence.

All other starters were of a very high standard and one of us had a risotto which was simply of staggering heights and the very best I have tasted in many many years.

For mains there were again various very good dishes and several of us went for their famous bouillabaisse. For me it has always been very simple – Tmun makes the best bouillabaisse in the Maltese Islands and this time was no exception. If you had to ask me whether I have had even better bouillabaisse at Tmun, then I would have to say yes. But it was still delightful. Leli’s son Paul, who runs the kitchen along with his mum Jane, who either work together or take it in turns, took the trouble of coming to our table on several occasions throughout the meal, in spite of them being very busy.

Having had their bouillabaisse exactly 4.85 billion times before, I am somewhat of a self-appointed authority on it and as such I have every right on earth to pontificate about it ad nauseam. I explained to Paul that its consistency and taste was as good as ever, only that it was perhaps a tiny touch too sweet. Also, and in spite of me being anything but a big eater, I could see it every so slightly larger and containing just a couple of extra shells and fish pieces, plus a bit more of the delicious broth.

They very astutely serve their bouillabaisse either as a starter or as a main course and suffice to say that on one occasion guess what I had for both consecutive courses…. yes really, this is no joke! When taken as a starter it is very beautifully severed in a pot which is conveniently placed on your table for you to help yourself, however as a main it is served already plated. Imho if anything the opposite should be done, or even better served in a pot in both instances.

Most of us had desserts which were all of top quality and these were followed by several drinks which never made their way onto our bill, courtesy of the lovely Buttigieg family. for whom I have a lot of time and the utmost respect.

Pure and utter perfection is something that we should all aim for, knowing very well that we will never quite attain it. This was about the least impressive meal we have ever had at Tmun yet it can still be very easily classified as being of a very high standard – that is how good this restaurant is!

It all started with about the longest journey possible in the Maltese islands. From Marsalforn via Marsa to Marsaxlokk.

Having left our dear friend Nicki
fast asleep in Gozo, we headed down South on this seemingly long journey of sorts. Well although I admit that the distance is far less than many people would commute to work on a daily basis abroad, it still took us just over two and a half hours in all. This is roughly the equivalent of flying from Malta to Paris. Is that a lot or a little? I’m not quite sure really, it depends on how you look at it I suppose, so I’ll let you be the judge of that.

After Nicki’s stylish personal extravagance we were meeting Jeremy and Michael known for their vehicular extravagance. For they come with a spectacular convertible Bentley which they somehow always manage to plonk down right in front of any restaurant and which according to them, never fails to draw in passing trade into the fortunate establishment.

Terrone is a very recent restaurant with a very distinctive Italian flavour throughout. You may choose to dine indoors our outdoors and as Jeremy and Michael’s empty promises to stop smoking for the last 15 years have led absolutely nowhere, you can easily guess where we sat.

This was great for us too as although the restaurant is well set back from the water’s edge, you still manage to catch a lovely view of the colourful boats and the bay.

We were very warmly welcomed by everyone there including the very helpful Irish Tom, who kindly drew us maps and wrote down useful hints for our forthcoming driving holiday in Ireland.

The menu is exclusively Italian and is changed every day. It featured a good mix of starters and mains of typical Italian dishes, which all however seemed to include some original ingredients, making it intriguingly and distinctly different from the expected norm.

We had Sicilian mussels for starters which were truly delicious and far superior to those we sampled the evening before. Their taste and texture as well as the accompanying zuppa was of a very high standard.

We had a very simple prosciutto di Soave with baby figs, which was as divine as it was straightforward.

There was also a superb combination of grilled peaches with Gorgonzola and greens with a tasty dressing.

And a wonderous caponata which besides the usual ingredients also had carrots, celery, raisins, nuts and honey. The combination was heavenly and the overall texture was quite firm and crisp, rather than the usual soft expected version. It was most definitely one of the best caponatas that I have ever had the pleasure of sampling.

For mains we had a plain grilled pagel which was a bit disappointing and which did not have the lovely taste and texture one would expect from a truly fresh fish.

Also a mixed fish grill which consisted of baby swordfish, cuttlefish and king prawns served on zucchini and brown lentils with an anchovy and rosemary sauce. This was a very pleasing dish and the pairing between the fish and the lentils was excellent.

We also had a risotto with shrimps, king prawns, zucchini, mint and lemon, which was very finely prepared. The rice too was served just at the right texture.

So with the exception of the pagel the food was simply excellent. Unfortunately we often encounter disappointing fish in many restaurants, where either it lacks freshness or it is not cooked quite right.

The wine list exclusively features Maltese and Italian wines. But at least what it lacks in international variety it makes up for in choice from these two countries of origin. So we went for the La Cala Vermentino di Sardengna of Sella & Mosca fame. It proved to be an excellent choice and accompanied the food perfectly. I enjoy vermentino much more than many other Italian grapes. And Sella & Mosca always tends to be a label of quality.

The service throughout was flawlessly executed both by Tom and by the chef patron’s gracious father. The only tiny hick up we encountered, which I am mentioning because it tends to be such a common mistake in so many restaurants, is that we were not asked whether we wanted to taste our second bottle of wine. I believe that there is still a common misconception that you taste the wine to see whether you like it or not. Similarly some also wrongly assume that if the bottle is a screw top and therefore cannot be corked, that tasting then becomes superfluous.

When you order a wine you’re supposed to know it or at least to know what you’re ordering. That is why a description of each of the wines on the list is so important. You can also ask for details and recommendations from the server taking your order, who in principle should know the wines well. If after all this the wine is simply not to your personal taste, the restaurant does not really have any obligation to change it for you without charging.

You taste the wine to check whether there is something wrong with that particular bottle, such as being corked, or off, or oxidized, or produced badly or even if it is being served at the desired temperature. And if the first bottle was entirely fine there is still absolutely no guarantee that the second one will be too. Hence every consecutive bottle of wine should be tasted and this should always be done in a clean glass.

So back to Terrone where in a very sensible attitude we decided to limit further calories by skipping dessert. We had expessos, Avernas and grappas, which we later realized were offered on the house. Very kind and generous indeed.

I only tend to mention prices when this is worth mentioning, usually when the establishment offers either very good or very poor value. Well in this can it is certainly worth mentioning that this meal including two bottles of water and two of wine only cost a very reasonable €140 for the four of us. We did only have three main courses but I still find this to be very good value.

So we thoroughly thanked our gracious hosts for their good choice of restaurant, before they jumped into their flashy Bentley and sped off into the distance, leaving everyone there gobsmacked in awe and admiration.

Going to Valletta in the middle of Summer is one of the things I hate most. So a little trick I have learned to cheer myself up when I really have to go, is to combine any pressing errands with a nice lunch. And as we all know the dining options in Valletta are now truly endless, so we are truly spoilt for choice.

The Harbour Club is one restaurant we have been wanting to try out for a while now and as we were not too keen to select a relatively cooped up indoor establishment, right in the middle of town, this proved to be the right location, being right down across the road from the waters of the Grand Harbour.

The views are absolutely stunning, with an open vista of the harbour and the fortifications and towns just across the water. Being lunch time however, we did find it a bit too busy and hectic from a traffic point of view, as never ending vehicles were constantly buzzing around us at close range and on both sides of us, the restaurant terrace being wedged right between the main waterfront road and the street leading down from Victoria Gate.

There was also a fairly large table right next to us with one screeching girl there who just wouldn’t shut up and insisted on shrieking out every word at top volume throughout the meal. I did everything to wish on her a quick silencing death by asphyxiation, hoping that every morsel of food she managed to swallow in mid sentence would permanently lodge itself in her nasty windpipe and choke her to sweet death. But alas my voodoo was not potent enough. But then again this is naturally no fault of the establishment.

I must also congratulate the restaurant’s efficient handling of our booking, which I ended up changing three times that same morning, out of pure disorganisation, carelessness and poor planning, entirely on my side. Upon each successive amendment I never failed to receive back unequivocal ‘no problem’s’ and ‘you’re most welcome’s’, a sign of excellent customer care.

We went straight onto the wine and as we’ve already drunk enough sauvignon blanc this Summer to open a small factory, I decided it was high time to vary a bit. The wine list had an adequate choice of labels, so we went for an Australian McGuigan Signature chardonnay, which was soft, round and smooth and perfectly fine. I couldn’t help thinking to myself how we are all led by fashion even in our choice of wine. Until a few years back it was all about chardonnay, while today everyone has switched to sauvignon blanc, although the chardonnay hasn’t gotten any worse really, and is still perfectly enjoyable,

They have a relatively restricted, but very attractive and well drawn out menu, which in spite of its conciseness still offers sufficient choice. I must have subconsciously been in a beefy mood which is very rare, as I instinctively went for the Angus beef tartar followed by a ribeye, while Maria went for mozzarella with aubergines followed by a brown meagre (gurbell).

I simply adore a good beef tartar and also enjoy mixing myself the various accompanying ingredients, usually consisting of shallots, capers, gherkins, raw egg and often several others, adding them to my exact taste. So when it arrived as a premixed slab I must admit I was a bit disappointed. But I am very happy to say that every single ounce or should I say milligram of disappointment instantly vanished the moment I tasted this absolutely divine rendition of a beef tartar. It was truly excellent in every respect and for those who are not over familiar with tartars believe it or not it is not an easy task to prepare a perfect one, as they undoubtedly managed here.

It was prepared with delicious black Angus and was perfectly seasoned with very finely chopped shallots and capers giving it a momentous flavour. And probably the most important factor of all in any tartar is the way the raw meat is actually chopped by hand, definitely never minced, and this was chopped to perfection. It was also served with a smearing of parmesan cream on the side, which deliciously continued adding even more strong flavours to an already glorious dish.

Maria’s mozzarella di bufala with grilled aubergines, smoked aubergine puree and basil dressing also proved to be excellent in every respect. The mozzarella was truly scrumptious and of exceedingly good quality and the entire dish was made up exclusively of very tasty items and was very well composed.

After such impressive starters I often tend to become a bit wary and somehow seem to expect a bit of a letdown with the mains. I find that in so many restaurants the starters are so much tastier and more interesting that I occasionally order another, or sometimes even two, starters instead of a main course.

Luckily this was not the case at The Harbour Club. My Irish ribeye was nothing short of excellent. As may be seen by my choice of starter, I love my meat raw and in the case of several cuts such as fillet I always have it blue. But with cuts having more marbling it usually makes more sense to slightly increase the cooking time, so as to dissolve the fat. So I normally ask for a ribeye to be served rare. This was cooked exactly the way I expect a rare steak to be, perfectly pink throughout and although not rawish as in blue, just about barely cooked at all inside. It was also very tasty and exquisitely seasoned on the outside and topped with a lovely herb butter.

Maria’s brown meagre was first pan sealed, then oven baked. It was topped with almonds and lemon and served on a bed of potato puree. Well astoundingly enough this dish too was simply superb. It was produced to a lovely smooth and velvety texture with fine, delicate wholesome flavours which didn’t fail to impress. An overall lovely fish dish indeed.

More often than not we tend to skip desserts these days. However when having such excellent food then we are naturally tempted to continue the meal for as long as it can possibly last. In this case we compromised and had just one to share, which was a blueberry sorbet, which yet again was delicious. It was dark and intense and creamy and smooth and simply a delight to eat.

So what can I say… top marks for the food. Every single dish we had without exception was excellent and irreproachable.

So I suppose that just leaves the service. And the service wasn’t bad as such, it was just a bit shabby and needs to be smartened up a notch or two. There were three members of staff who served us in all and they were all perfectly friendly and pleasant, even to the extent of being perhaps ever so slightly over friendly, but not efficient enough. I think that they need to decide on the desired feel and slant of the place. Do they want to portray this as a top eatery? Because they certainly have the quality of food to do so. Or more of an informal unceremonious and unpretentious laid back attitude, which was largely practiced by the staff during our meal?

We couldn’t help noticing that one server addressed us and all other clients as ‘guys’, as in ‘hi guys’, ‘ready to order guys’, etc. which to be perfectly honest doesn’t even shock me these days and has become virtually the norm in casual diners. But the only pity is that this place could be so much more. Similarly the movements and the actions and the basics were all there, in the form of nicely designed crockery and cutlery and tableware, elegant ice buckets and glasses, but then surprising enough all of this was sustained with barely bistro style service.

Our wine was never served except for he first glass, and although pouring our own wine is really something I actually enjoy, it is obviously something one would expect at a certain level of establishment. Clearing was slow, as was most of the service throughout. I somehow managed to drop two pieces of cutlery during the meal and nobody bothered to move. It was really a question of a lot of friendless with absolutely no attentiveness, we were served and then left entirely to our own resources. Nobody asked whether we were enjoying our meal either. So this is about as great a divergence between food and service as you could imagine within an establishment.

My last small somewhat amusing observation concerns the toilet. So as to enter and exit this facility you have to walk over an underfoot grill out of which gushes out the hottest and strongest jet of air I have ever encountered. So ladies do not go to Harbour Club wearing a skirt!

I have been hearing many good things about Bouquet Garnie for several years. So as we were meeting friends and I was asked to choose the restaurant myself, I took the opportunity to finally give it a go.

It is a small restaurant with pleasant decor which is intimate yet also quite informal, making for a nice ambiance.

We were very cordially greeted and immediately asked whether we would like any drinks. Our friends arrived very shortly after us and we all went for a glass of prosecco.

The manger, who later also informed us that he is part of the family of proprietors, explained the day’s specials and showed us the fish. They have worked out a very clever and straightforward formula for the fish by pricing them all at €19 per person, or at €25 if you would like them as a platter along with king prawns, mussels and clams. Both prices were very acceptable especially as the fish looked very fresh.

The menu itself however, although quite varied and well thought out, is very succinctly written and surprisingly includes no details or secondary ingredients on any of the dishes.

While their wine list is adequate, they were out of stock on the New Zealand sauvignon blanc which I requested, so we had an excellent and elegant Sancerre instead.

For starters two of us had fresh mussels and two the prawn bisque. The mussels were very good and thoroughly enjoyed. The bisque too, although very slightly on the sweet side, was quite delicious. It was served with equally delectable whole king prawns.

We were all tempted to take fish for our main course. So we had a selection consisting of lipp (forkbeard), spigola (sea bass) and awrat (silver bream), along with mussels, clams and king prawns.

I must say that all was most enjoyable and very well prepared. It was also interesting to sample together and to compare the different types of fish. The awrat which is very fishy and oily, the spigola which in many ways is similar, only a bit less oily and with flesh which has a more tender texture. The lipp is very different as its white flaky flesh is not so oily, is much less fishy and therefore much less tasty, presenting an exceedingly subtle flavour.

All the accompanying shellfish was of a high standard and very well prepared.

So all the food without exception was very good and without fault. Their homemade bread which was served piping hot, was to die for and the best homemade bread I have eaten in a long time.

The service up to this point was also no less than excellent. Besides for the manager we were also served by a female and a male server. The three of them were exceedingly polite helpful and very attentive. One simply couldn’t ask for better service. As I was seated in a corner, they could not pass to come behind my seat, so they were compelled to serve me and clear my place from across the table. I couldn’t help noticing that each and every time they passed their arms over the table, they repeatedly apologized to us for this inconvenience. Now how attentive is that!

But alas much to our exasperation and amazement, all notions of service simply ceased to exist some time during our main course. The male server came along to see if everything was fine, to which we most definitely replied in the affirmative and from that point onwards we were simply abandoned and left entirely to our own resources.

The girl must have been let off, as only the manager and the male server were left to easily finish off the three or four remaining tables. But when we had finished our main course all remained lying there in front of us for at least ten minutes, before I just couldn’t bear it any more and had to summon them over to come and clear our table.

Only then nobody ever came to see if we desired desserts. So again after much waiting and patience we finally had to call them over. We were informed that one of the desserts was not available and we opted for a lime sorbet and a pavlova. Both, but notably the latter, was extremely well prepared.

However again nobody bothered asking us for coffees and yet again for liqueurs after that!

There were times we had to call and call always ever louder to be noticed at all. When ordering coffees and drinks they played that annoying escaping game whereby after each individual item you order, they start to set off towards the bar, compelling us to ask them to hold on three consecutive times to get the order in for the four of us.

This outlandish situation continued to the very end, by which time there was only one other table left. Both of them were very busy serving the other guests and more so clearing and cleaning tables and setting up for the following day. So their priority and full attention was entirely shifted onto getting home as early as possible.

It must be said that besides the restaurant being very quiet, this charade started well before 11:00pm, so it wasn’t like we were keeping them up all night.

We painfully went on to order drinks and were told that a few were out of stock. And I would also like to mention the fact that we were offered a last round on the house.

But naturally we left rather bemused and certainly not from a food quality point of view, but from such lacking service, as well as to a lesser degree their poor stock management. It is very annoying for a client to be abandoned at some point in the meal and unfortunately this great fault is quite common in many restaurants. But never have we encountered such extremes in service during the same meal.

I will start off immediately by saying that this too is most unfortunately another good food bad service story.

I have often read such comments in various fora where particularly overseas visitors have expressed themselves in a similar manner regarding eating out in general in Malta.

However I am not trying to suggest any wide sweeping statement here, especially on this page. But admittedly many improvements to the service aspect of our catering scene are undoubtedly possible.

It is true that several of my most recent reviews have dwelled on this sometimes sad situation, but I am sincerely hoping that this bad run is only a matter of unfortunate coincidences which won’t last much longer.

Santa Lucia has long established itself as one of Malta’s prime patisseries and casual diners. Virtually everything they produce is of exceptional quality, which made this establishment an instant hit.

Since its inception it has remained terribly popular and is virtually always bustling with patrons.

I have been there very often, although admittedly usually for takeouts. I must say that I have often found the staff to be unfriendly, brash and also at times rather snide in their remarks. And this also includes the cashiers.

Just a few days ago I was hungry and had an hour to kill and as I was in that area I decided to stop for a quick bite.

I settle for a beef kofta bagel, which was a delight and at €7 was also very good value for money. It was tasty, copious and accompanied with potato wedges and three different dipping sauces.

I can never remember over all these years having purchased any food item from them which wasn’t darn good. And as many people know, this not only applies to their savoury items, but perhaps more so to their extensive range of lovely sweet products.

The service was very well executed by two charming ladies who looked after me rather well.

I never go to an establishment with preconceived ideas, or to the extent that I provoke myself any particular reaction just to prove myself right. In fact I was so at ease and well past any previous problems that I might have encountered here in the past, that the following incident took me totally by surprise.

Another somewhat younger female server was clearing the table right next to me when I asked her directions to the toilets. She pointed towards one side of the establishment and said word for word “up there” (hemm fuq). So naturally when hearing the world “up” I assumed that she meant upstairs. “As if we have an upstairs” she retorted in a very condescending manner, sporting a mocking grin.

Initially I really didn’t get it and never realized that she was really and truly finding my query amusing. She proceeded in using various illogical adjectives and versions to her directions, always in an exceedingly mocking tone.

I really cannot understand why treating clients in this manner can give so much pleasure to these people. But if I had to guess I would probably assume that this must be a sort of ‘we’re so busy we don’t need your custom’ and a ‘we can afford to piss off a couple of customers as we have so many of them’ complex, which was so prevalent back in the 1970’s and 1980’s.

Readers here know that I definitely do not revel in being negative about any establishment and moreover that I will not even post an overall negative review. As amply stated Santa Lucia has excellent food. Now they seriously need to look at the attitude of some of their staff.

I could easily suggest various effective and persuasive methods. But before risking denting my car bumper and then the suspension on the way back, perhaps some basic customer care training might be a bit less brutal, albeit much less of a relief.